Love me again

Chapter 1

Harry's P.O.V: 

The day I knew was coming had finally arrived; I  had to face the inevitable. There was nothing anyone could do to help me anymore. Louis Tomlinson, the only person I could and ever would love was gone from my life forever. Louis was the only thing I could ever want in my life.  Of course it happened to be all my fault. The memories flowed through my head of that night as if to haunt me yet again as I was putting on my black suit and tie before I funeral. 

It was snowing, almost Louis' birthday, three days away in fact and I was so excited for his party. I had planned to spend the night with my mother, planning the birthday party for Louis. I never had been a good planner by myself and well I couldn't exactly ask Louis to help me. It was almost 9 o'clock, I was missing Louis more than ever. Over the last few days he had been distant, the kisses we shared being short, conversations even shorter. Simple I love you's and I'm fine was all I head much of. All of it  worried me but I brushed it off as him just thinking about the holidays. After all, wasn't everyone? I called Louis, missing the sound of his voice after being apart from him all day. We usually didn't spend much time apart. I asked him to come pick me up and he agreed, saying he would be there shortly and that he loved me. I simply smiled and agreed, saying I loved him too. Oh how much I wish I would have said more. After almost an hour of waiting I was going crazy. Louis was never late, especially when it came to seeing me. I called, every time it went to voicemail, no answer. I went to my mom, crying and hoping he was okay but he wasn't. I got a call back from Louis' number, feeling relieved until I answered the phone. It was the police, Louis had drove off the road and flipped the car, he was in a critical and unstable condition. When I heard this my body went numb, along with my mind. In my heart I knew it was over, he wasn't going to be okay. 

Ever since then I haven't been the same. I went and seen Louis in the hospital, he was barely breathing. I broke down there in the hospital room, sitting next to the bed and holding his hand; begging him to wake up and be okay. He didn't and I didn't leave the side of the bed until the end. After two days they made me leave, Louis was not doing any better and his mum had given them permission to let him go. I was screaming and sobbing as I was forced form the hospital and taken home.  Louis' birthday I spent alone in our bedroom, sobbing until I had nothing left in me. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I refused to see anyone. I stayed on Louis' side of the bed, breathing in his scent sometimes made me believe that it was okay and none of it had happened. It did though and it was today that it was official. Today marked the first week of Louis being dead, his funeral would be held in an hour. I had survived a week without him, how? I had no idea. It felt like my world had fallen apart, everything was ruined. My chest was heavy and my face was stained with tears as I walked into the service, I sat in the back, my head low as people came in to join us. All I could do was cry even though it felt like I had nothing left in me to do so. When they finally buried him and laid my head on my mothers shoulder and broke down yet again. I was sobbing, begging her to tell me this wasn't real and I could go home to Louis and he would be okay. She couldn't tell me that, without saying anything she had to drag me away from Louis' grave. I was screaming, trapped inside myself feeling numb, lost, and hopeless without Louis. 

That's how it was for days afterwards. I didn't come out of my room, every now and then my mother would come in and practically force food down my throat. I didn't care though. It was beyond the point of me giving up. I wanted to stay in that bed and die so I could be with Louis again. Everyone around me knew this also, they wouldn't allow it. They kept me eating they kept my wrist clean. The rest however, they could do nothing about. I was broken, nothing left of me. I just couldn't find the motivation to get out of bed when I knew Louis wasn't downstairs waiting for me. On the third day after his funeral, 10 days without Louis, my mum made me see a counselor. They took me from my house to a park. I was sitting on the swings when I saw him, I was looking over at the trees, wishing I could disappear and get away from the lady that kept mentioning Louis. I dismissed myself and said that I was going to take a walk in the woods, which I was in a way. I walked over to where I had seen Louis, wandering into the woods. My head was spinning because I knew it couldn't be true but I needed him so badly I believed it. I was freezing by the time I reached the edge of a stream, I fell down in the snow and cried. It felt so real when I had saw him, I couldn't take it, my chest felt like it had collapsed and I could barely breathe in between my sobs for him. That's when he was there, next to my side, comforting me like he always did. 

"Shh angel, it will be okay I promise. I'm right here, take deep breaths for me Harry, you have to breathe." His words were so calming and so were his fingers running through my hair. I closed my eyes and focused on him being there, next to me and the thought that everything was going to be okay again. When I had calmed down I opened my eyes and looked up at him, he was as beautiful as ever, looking down at me. I could tell he was worried about me, I was freezing even though he seemed to be just fine. 

"How do I know that this is real?" I whispered to him, my voice sounded broken and foreign to me. I scared to look away in fear that he would disappear, leaving me alone again. 

"You don't." He replied in a hushed voice, almost like it hurt him to say it. 

"Then how can I trust that you wont leave me again?" 

"You believe angel. You must believe that I am here and I will be." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, helping up from the snow. "In order for you to keep seeing me it has to be where no one else is. You must not tell anyone you are with me or they will take you away from me. Do you understand?" No, I didn't understand but I nodded my head. I wouldn't tell anyone but I didn't understand why. Louis wasn't dead, everything was going to be alright. Or at least that's what I thought. 

A/N: 

So kinda rushed and short, I know. Sorry. But I really wanted to get this first chapter down. It's late and I have school tomorrow. I kind of have an idea to where this story is going but if you have any suggestions please comment! I love all of you lovelies! Hope you enjoyed! Vote, comment, all that stuff! 

~JaimeXx