Taken

Chapter Twenty Seven--DENNY

It had been two days since Grady wrecked our friendship and I still wouldn’t carry on a full conversation with him.  It wasn’t that I was just feeling like keeping the grudge going, because in full truth, it was killing me.  I just thought that if I stayed away from him, it would stop my falling.

          The longer I stayed away from him and the longer I didn’t talk, I assumed everything would get better. I mean, that sounds logical, right?  It wasn’t getting better though, it was getting worse, and the longer I was stuck in this mess—between a best friend and my boyfriend—the more I felt like I was in a dark place.

          Sure I moved through the regular motions: cooking, cleaning, teaching, tending to the fire, writing in my journal, but something was missing.  I wished I didn’t know what it was, but I did know.  It was because my best friend Grady had suddenly left my life. 

          Why did things have to be so complicated?  Now I needed some sort of sense of balance, of equilibrium, but I didn’t know what it was just yet or how to get it.

          “How are you doing?” Grady asked, breaking my thoughts. 

          I glanced at him and then focused back on my tea, wishing the steam was thick enough to drift up and hide my emotions. 

          No!  I yelled at myself inside, You don’t like Grady, you like Jeremiah.  Grady was stupid, and you’re not, so get your act together. “Great,” I lied, sipping the tea.  I didn’t know why I drank tea so much, since I didn’t really even like it.

          “Come on, Denny.  You aren’t fooling anybody.”

          “Who are you to tell me how I’m feeling? Or fooling?”  His remark made me angry, and I shot daggers at him with my eyes. 

          “If you were okay, you’d talk to me,” he said quietly, looking at his boots.

          “Well after what you pulled, I’m surprised you even had the pride to ask me.”  I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that I didn’t mean them but I couldn’t take them back.  It was too late.

          The pain and hurt in his expression was too much to bear.  My eyes fell and tears slid down my cheeks.  I was ashamed. I hated hurting people as much as I hated the situation I was in and all this pent up anger and confusion was seriously going to my head. 

          I couldn’t apologize, I couldn’t say anything.  Grady was gone, and I was worse off than I had been the whole last two days.  I couldn’t even move.     

-

          “Why are you and Grady fighting?” Haven asked.  She set down her book.

          “Keep reading.”

          “I can’t,” she whined.  “Why won’t you tell me?”

          “It’s complicated.”  I pointed at the book.  “Read. Now.”

          I hated feeling bitter but for the last few hours I had been severely depressed.  I felt like the world was coming down on me and I didn’t know what I had done to deserve it.  I couldn’t help thinking if Jeremiah wouldn’t have left none of this would have happened. 

          Or would’ve it?

          I pushed the thought out of my mind and plunged my hands in the warm dish water.  We had eaten lunch without Grady because he hadn’t shown up and it was nearly two.  The sun had already passed its peak in the sky and I couldn’t help but wonder where he was. I hoped he wasn’t in the woods getting lost again.  Last time the sun had set by the time he came home.

          When the dishes were finished, I rejoined Haven at the table.  I helped her with more work and when I decided she could leave, she scurried out and I could hear the front door swing shut.  I sighed, alone again.

          In the time since my parents were taken, I felt like I’d had to grow up even more.  I felt older than seventeen, and I couldn’t remember ever feeling carefree.  Ever since we found Haven and took her in, I’d had to be a mother, a friend, and a teacher.

          Sure, I had always wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.  It was one of those things that you had known you wanted to do from when you played school with your dolls, but I didn’t want it to happen this soon.

          As I sat there at the kitchen table after Haven had left me in the dust, I felt exasperated.  I had always been mature for my age, always sitting with the adults and participating in their conversations when my parents and their business friends got together for dinner.  I was an only child, and so I was pretty independent. 

          Now though, I wished I had been a kid longer.  Sure, I had a good childhood and all, but I wished it would have lasted longer.  Here I was, seventeen and teaching a child how to read, when I wouldn’t have dreamed in a million years I would be doing such a thing until I was about twenty five, and with a proper degree.

          I rose from the table and walked out onto the porch.  A cool breeze was blowing through the trees and I was happy to see the color coming back to the forest.  Birds flew every which way, pecking at the ground and singing while they did it.  Squirrels scurried around cautiously, taking to the trees when they felt threatened.

          I lifted the water bucket off its hook and headed off into the woods, taking the path I had taken many times since we had settled here.  There was a crystal clear river not too far from the cabin, and as I was coming close, I could see the blue of Grady’s shirt hanging on a limb.

          I slowed my pace, and when I broke from the trees, he surfaced from the water, his hair plastered to his head.  “What are you doing?” I asked angrily.

          “Swimming.”

          “In our drinking water?”  

          “It’s not like I’m swimming in a pond or something.  Rivers flow.” 

          I didn’t appreciate his reply even though it was true.  When I saw his shorts on the rock, I became even more disgusted.  I gave him a look and dropped the bucket on the ground.  When he made a move to get out of the water, I whirled around and started to walk off. 

          “Denny!”

          “What do you want?” I hissed, turning back around now that he had slipped into his shorts again.

          “I want you to forgive me.  I’m tired of the insults and the cold stares.  Please.”

          I forced myself to look off behind him instead of his apologetic eyes. “Look,” I started, but stopped.  I didn’t know what to say.  I kicked a rock by my toe and tried again.  “I like you Grady, and that’s why I can’t be close to you anymore.”

          “That’s what this is about?” he asked, squeezing water out of his hair.  “I thought you were mad at me for kissing you!”

          “That too,” I said, but I couldn’t help the little smile that played on my lips. 

          Grady grinned.  “I didn’t think I’d see that smile again.”

          His shorts were wet and water droplets still lingered on his arms and torso.  His hair was starting to dry, but was still wet on the ends as he stepped closer to me.  “A make up hug? Just friends hug?” He held out his arms and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

          “Fine,” I said and he pulled me into him.  He smelled like the metallic scent of water and I loved it.  The hug lasted a while, because neither of us wanted to pull away.  Finally I tore away, tucking my hair behind my ear shyly and bending to pick up water bucket. 

          Grady mumbled something inaudible.  “What did you say?” I asked, but he just shook his head.  I shrugged and went to fill the bucket, and as he stood back I hoped that nothing else would happen to rip up our friendship again, even though I liked him a lot and it was obvious he still felt the same way.