A Lost Side

Chapter 3

Clint:
   I sighed, looking over the sleeping city outside the windows. Even New York slows down at night. Being this high up, looking over all of the lights of city, helped calm my overactive mind. I was slightly surprised that no one else from the team was up; we had all been plagued by  nightmares since Bruce and Sapphire had disappeared. Tony had set JARVIS up to wake us when we were in nightmares but it wasn't the same as having Sapphire keep them away.
    Turning on my phone, I silently wondered if Lauren was up. I stared at the background, a picture of the kids last year at the farm. I sighed, it would be too late and Lauren needed to sleep. I clicked the phone off and looked out the window again.
      Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in the reflection of the room in the window. I refocused on the reflection, not turning around and watched. Something flashed by again and I shifted slightly towards the planted pot next to me. Still watching the reflection, I slowly reached below the leaves and pulled out one of the hidden guns I had planted there.
      I turned around and pointed the gun at the dark figure in the connected kitchen. He, or she, was standing on the counter, reaching up above the cabinets. I quietly moved forward and to the side, the figure unaware of me so far. I tried to think of what was kept on top of the cabinet; I had an extra quiver of arrows up there, Nat kept extra ammunition and guns there, and I was pretty sure that Fury kept a grenade launcher up there too.
     Besides that, the only one who kept stuff up there was Sapphire; something called ambrosia and nectar. Whatever the stuff was, she told us not to touch it. What could the figure be after?
     Still having my gun trained on the figure, I stepped over to the wall and flipped on the light switch. Clearly a she now, stopped and lowered her arm, turning around to face me in surprise. I immediately  lowered my gun.
     "Sapphire?" I sent the thought and she winced before mouthing back a hesitant "Hey."
      I put my gun away as she hopped down from the counter, it was obvious that she had not expected to be caught. No one had seen her for over a month and here she was. I searched her over quickly to make sure that it was really her. She was in a thin black  hoodie over skinny jeans and a plain white t-shirt.  Her eyes were dark, almost black and they looked guarded. She looked back up at me as I came forward and started to sign something in ASL.
    "I-I'm sorry. I'll leave-" I grabbed her signing hand to stop her from finishing and reached behind her to pull out two mugs.
    "No you're staying. Sit kid, we need to talk." She looked like she was caught between worried and relieved, but sighed at "kid." I had sent it through thoughts but she still didn't respond the same way.
    "You won't tell anyone I'm here?" She signed it quickly, still ready to bolt.
    I shook my head and gestured to the kitchen island with stools. I spoke through thoughts again since my hands were full. "No, and let me see your cut arm."
     Sapphire had tried to hide the bandage from me when she signed but it wasn't tucked completely under her sleeve. When I said that I wasn't going to tell anyone she was there, she relaxed but relaxing made it look like she was going to cry. I watched her roll up her hoodie sleeve and and scoot onto a stool as I heated up water and could see how tired and hopeless she looked. It looked like she aged twenty years and hadn't been able to settle down for one night since she left. She did everything cautiously but without much thought, like she was just following orders.
      I grabbed two tea bags and sugar and sat down across from her, sliding a mug towards her. I held my hand out and she put her arm in it obediently as she stuck a tea bag in the water. I unwrapped the bandages slowly as she watched me and pulled them away to reveal a jagged, clawed gash in her arm. It was red against her pale skin and also had a green tint in areas. I shook my head and looked up at her. She looked at it as if it was on someone else.
    "What did you get this from?" I mouthed out, giving her her arm back, knowing that she would be able to read lips as well, if not better than me.
    Sapphire mouthed back, "A fight with a," but paused and realized I wouldn't know what she was saying and spelt out the word with her fingers. "Manticore I came across. It's tail spike caught me in a flip. I got the poison out but the thing still won't heal in water because of it."
    I watched her pour some gold liquid from a little vial into her tea before sipping it. The gash on her outstretched arm slowly closed back up and practically disappeared.
    "Is that nectar?" She nodded.  I quietly wondered why it would be dangerous if it healed people but then I thought about how it healed her and she was much different from normal "people."
    "What does it taste like?" I read her lips as she answered, still not using her thoughts.
    "Whatever you like or want the most."
     "And for you that would be?" Her eyes flicked back up to mine with a dark look. I thought I saw a slight red tint before it passed. Her face seemed more serious than before.
     "You don't want to know."
     We were both still for a minute and Sapphire  played with her mug. I read her lips as she started again. "How are you?"
      "I've been better." She nodded and paused again.
      "And the others?"
       I sighed and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms before giving a half laugh. "Tony drinks until he's drunk, which is all the time. I'm pretty sure  the Captain has found some way to blame all this on himself and doesn't do anything besides strategizing, running, and punching holes into innocent punching bags. Nat's closed in on herself and Thor is trying to pull connections to find you two. We all miss you, we miss you both."
       Sapphire took a deep breath that looked like it hurt and tried to give a small smile but her eyes showed tears. She signed, "I'm sorry."
       I let her collect herself before signing back. "How about you? You look like hell."
       She sighed through her nose and rolled her eyes. I saw a little bit of the old Sapphire back. "Physically, fine now. Mentally is a different story."
       She finally opened up her thoughts and I saw the black swirling inside of them, making me dizzy. All of the different scenarios she had played out in her head flicked through mine. I saw her loneliness and anger swirling and keeping her going, but also fear. She was afraid of not finding Bruce or finding him in a horrible condition. She was afraid that she would lose him and lose all of us. But most surprising was that she was afraid of what she was becoming. I could understand that; there were some days where, by the end of it, even though I knew I was protecting lives, I didn't know if I'd be able to sleep at night or if I'd be able to look my kids in the eyes.
      Sapphire pulled back her mind and shut me out again. I opened my eyes to find hers still closed and tears under her lashes. I stepped down from my stool and pulled her into a hug. She hugged back a gave a sob into my shirt. After a moment, she pulled away and wiped at her eyes.
     "You gonna be okay, kid?" She read my lips and have a treaty smile and nod. "Hey, and quit doing our jobs for us and leaving us to clean up. Nat and I are going to be out of jobs if you keep it up."
      She smiled and opened her thoughts slightly for me to hear her silent laughter. I wondered how long it had been since she last did that. "I promise that I'll check in more often. I'm going after a small intelligence group early this week but then I'm going to go dark for a little bit."
      She whispered a thank you before heading towards the door.
      "Sapphire,"I sent her the thought and she turned around with her hand on the handle. "Remember if you need a place to stay, you could always visit Lauren and the kids. You're welcome to stay there and she knows not to tell anyone."
      She gave a smile and mouthed another thank you  before disappearing.
      I sat for a few moments before picking up our mugs and putting the contents in the sink and throwing out Sapphire's bandages. I looked back at the table and the living room and sighed. It almost didn't seem like Sapphire had been there a minute ago.