Finding Myself

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"Your nothing, you're life is not worth shit neither are you! All your gonna be good for is wrapping your legs around a pole and the only time a man will say "I love you" is when you're lying on your bare back" My dad said.

Those were his last words to me before he abandoned my older brother keon and I when I was 12. My mom left after I was born and my dad raised us, he always said he hated me because I reminded him of my mother. At the time Keon was 16 he was already emancipated and got a job and created a life for us. It took a few months of being homeless and struggling but a couple months before I was 13 he had a car rented a nice apartment and thats how we've been living.

Now im 17 and I'm a Senior in highschool I'm usually pretty kept to myself, and I really don't trust nobody other than my brother.

"Siya! Wake up your gonna be late for school" Keon yelled from the door way.

"Alright dang". I got up walking into the bathroom and took care of my personal hygiene.

I walked into my room and opened my closet and grabbed a black champion hoodie and black champion joggers and threw on my tan short uggs.

"Hey brother" I said walking into the kitchen.

"Wassup" he yawned, I took a moment to really look at my brother, he looked so tired he works full time including working over time and we're struggling with bills I hate it, watching him work so hard for us with no help.

"How's work been?" I poured myself some orange juice.

"Shit... Work  ain't nun' new" he said.

"Im looking for a job Keon, I want to help out with-

"Nah stop saying that shit, you already know how i feel about it siya! Your not getting a job just focus on school and graduate, go to college and that's it!" He said sternly.

I rolled my eyes and slammed my cup down.

"I'll be in the car" I mumbled.

--

"Aight have a good day at school" Keon said.

I smiled and got out the 2013 Honda Accord  closing the door and walking up the cement stairs to the entry of my school.

When I walked in I could feel all eyes on me from mainly male peers that's all they do every damn day is stare me down and it make's me hella uncomfortable.

"Hey siya" my friend ariana waved at me stopping at my locker.

"Hi ari" I said grabbing my books out.

"Hey I wanted to know if you were up for a party?"

I shook my head no with a chuckle " girl my brother wouldn't let me"

Her face fell and she nodded "well let me know if your available " she smiled then walked away.

--
"Siya,I'm leaving love you, money for pizza or takeout is on the counter" he said from the other side of the door.

"Alright love you too" I called out.

20 mins later

I got hungry and orderd a pizza, I hate that keon treats me like a little girl, it's friday night I should be with ari at some niggas party having fun, not home, I feel like sometimes keon gets overprotective and its unfair cause I'm not so young anymore I'll literally be a legal adult soon.

I heard a knock on the door and opened it assuming it was the pizza man but it was this pretty chocolate complexioned girl and a light-skin girl.

"Does deandre live here?" She asked.

"No he's upstairs, 322" I smiled.

"You're gorgeous girl!!" The lightskin one said.

"Aww thank's so are y'all" I blushed.

"Yeah and you got a fat ass too.... hey do you need a job" the chocolate girl said.

"Ughh yeah, I've been looking for one my brother wont let me work an-"

"Say no more, call my friend he owns this place called queens of hearts and we make almost $800-$1500 a night" she smiled

My eyes lit up and i took the card she handed me and they left, I wonder where they work.

--

Jordan(P.O.V.) I sat in my office with a veiw of downtown and sparked up the blunt i held between my index finger and my thumb taking a long drag from it and slowly exhaling it.

Im living every niggas dream I'm 21 years old with my own business, doing my own shit nun illegal not trapping just being a real ass nigga.

My friend almost a sister candy came in my door and sat on the chair infront if my desk.

"I got news Brown" she smiled.

"Wassup wit it" I looked at her and smirked.

"So Kiara and I went to deandres house.... anyways we got lost and we knocked on the wrong door and this drop dead gorgeous ass girl opened it and i told her about the club and she might call you, other than K and I she would bring in business like that nigga I'm telling you" she snapped her fingers.

I chuckled rolling my eyes candys ass always excited about some shit

"Aight I'll check her out if she call." I got up walking to the window and looking at my veiw.

"Whats been up with you, I can tell somethings been wrong." Candy crossed her arms.

"Uh nothing I'm chillen" I smirked.

"No something been-...... you haven't checked your phone every two minutes which means no text which means something went down with nessa" she said.

I laughed and shook my head, candy can read me like a open ass book.

"Yeah we broke up couple days ago, she was caught" I said.

"Aww J, I'm sorry-"

"Nah it's good I found out now I was finnuh propose next month but nah, fuck that B, fuck love" I snarled.

I just hope this girl call tomorrow and I can see what candys off the wall ass is talking about.

Siya In mm