Maxon's Mistake COMPLETED

Chapter 1

As soon as Maxon got down on one knee, I put on a big smile(like being told), because even though I loved Maxon all the way to the moon and back, he made his decision and him and I are supposed to be happy with it. Plus I can't go around being depressed and mad all the time wishing on something that won't ever happen and, I'm gonna live my life I always wanted. I will try hold off on marrage for a couple of years (before I become a widow note the sarcasm) and I will hopefully become a singer. See piece of cake.

When the engagement party started I could feel a lump in my throught I swallowed it and calmly walked over to Kriss. 'Be strong you can do this' my thoughts whispered to me. I need stregth, and courage to get me through this. I just hope I have enough in me.

"Congradulations Kriss I'm so happy for you. Im so glad you are getting a happily ever after." I smiled, because I'm trying so hard not to break Dow by the fact that the man I shared kisses and held his darkest secrets eith and the person who promised me we'd get married and go on a honeymoon is her fiancé. She gave me a nod. She looked like she was debating something and I was just about to think of something to say when she spoke.

"Me too. America no hard feelings right? I want to know if you'll be my maid of honar. You've been there when I needed you most so please will you do it?" She give me a look like she was pleading inside. I couldn't say no. Plus she was one of my best friends. I fiddle with my hands and then look up knowing my answer too well.

"I would love to. Thank you so much Kriss." And she smiled with her teeth and laughed. I'm still in shock though of asking me to be her maid of honor or I'm actually completely shocked. I had no idea she thought of me that way. When I realized what I just said yes to it hit me like a wave. That means I have to came back and see Maxon. Oh yay not that I had anything against Maxon but, well you know. I said my goodbyes to Kriss and deep in thought walked over to Celeste. I was about to cry but I knew That but I couldn't not now I looked at the floor to concentrate on something else and I saw the tile patterns and where they begin and end where Maxon's children with Kriss would run and play. The perfect floors of which he would kid Kriss. 'You don't deserve him' said my inner voice and I knew she was right. I said my goodbyes to Kriss and deep in thought walked over to Celeste.

"You'll visit me sometime right" Celeste sadly urged. Even though I hated her guts for most of the selection I could not, and would not loose her as a friend she was the only real person I could talk to. Marlee I won't see silence she works and lives in the palace and it's not like I would consider mentioning my feelings to Kriss since she's marrying the only man I've ever loved.

"Yeah of course I never thought I would say this but I will miss you." She looked at me in disapproval like I was lying. Either that or she knew I was upset over Maxon. I took a guess and said it was probably the second one.

"I can't believe it's over. Everyone is moving on. Kriss is getting married, my big brother just got engaged. I feel like my childhood is gone now I have to face reality. I always wanted to grow up but now I don't. I just wan't to stay here my whole life and worry about my hair and stuff that doesn't matter but I guess everyone eventually grows up. I applied for a school in new york."

"What'd they say."

"Here read for yourself." Celeste said while handing me a thick envelope with NYU written on front of it I take the paper out and start reading.

Dear Celeste Newsome
We come to inform you your application you submitted to NYU was accepted. We hope to see you at NYU this next summer. Thank you for applying and contact us if you accept this inventation.

From,
NYU

I folded the paper back up and gently stuck it back in the envelope.

"Celeste thats great I'm so happy for you." I gave her a hug and we said our goodbyes. Then Celeste whispers in my ear while giving me a hug,

"Maxon keeps looking at you it's obvious he wants you."

"Oh well" mouth to her and I shrug. She seems to understand everything even though she knows nothing about what happened, so she nods and leaves the room. Then princess nicoletta taps me on the sholder and says "

I wan't you to meet someone this is Prince Alexander my annoying brother." Nicoletta teases.

Prince Alexander had brown hair that was slicked back and dark brown eyes filled with compassion and consideration. He was wearing a red suit with black layers he looked goooood. I wonder if he noticed me checking him out. I hope not that would be embarrassing I look down to regain my thoughts and then look up. Really America.

"What an honar to meet the famous America Singer. Your report on the desolving the caste took stregth" he gently took my hand and kissed it once, "courage" kissed it again "and bravery". "I hope to see you again lady America". He then walked off I just stood there bewildered. Then walked up to my room" WOW" I said to myself. I went into my old room and thought this is the last time I will ever step foot in this room again. I got a pen and starting writing.

Dear King Maxon,
I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. You gave me hope that was something I couldn't do on my own. Do you know the first time I knew I loved you? It was that day on the roof then I knew I had to fight even if it meant a crown I was unprepared for. Kriss will make a great queen and mother. She's special because she was fighting for you not the crown. She puts on a brave face for her people when breaking on the inside that's something you have in common. I hope you have a great life. I know you will be a great king and have a trustworthy queen right beside you and never give up. I believe in you I always will have a great life

Well wishes,
America Signer

Self harm trigger read at your own risk

I was sobbing my heart out I was stupid dumb and cruel to do that to Maxon. I had everything I loved him it could've been me getting married waking up to him every morning, me kissing him goodnight, and me arguing with him about who's gonna change our babies diaper but no I'm a fool I did this. Maxon's gonna be happy. That was when I crossed the line. It was like I was doing what I needed and I had to do this I couldn't stop myself I took the screw out of the pencil sharpener took the blade and very lightly ran it across my skin.

I saw blood. I hated more than anything more than anything in the world that I needed to do it one more time that the pain took me away from Maxon marrying Kriss and having his kids and that I'm never going to say what I need to to my dad, and the fact May wanted me to win.

I did a total of 3 cuts some were deeper than others some were lighter. The first cut was for my family how they won't ever get to see me walk down that isle with the man that I love and take the crown showing I was special.

The second cut was for my dad for not saying my goodbyes and never telling him I love him. The last time I think I talked to him was when the Halloween party was. That was the last time. I didn't get to say goodbye to someone who meant the most to me, who made me believe I could be okay.

And the last one was for Maxon.

I cleaned the blood off my arm after I couldn't feel Anymore pain and I couldn't feel anymore I couldn't feel sadness over Maxon or my father or Kota just no feelings.

Self harm triggering over

I asked a maid to give the letter to Prince Maxon and she said "okay. I wish it was you." and left without a trace. Then I packed up all I had which was a few clothes and Maxon's bracelet. I got on a plane to leave tonight to go to New York. I've never been the flight is seven hours so I decide to sleep, and figure what I'm gonna do to feel again. 'Worthless.' voice in the back of my head said and I knew that she was right. I decided to take its advice and put headphones in and blasted skrillex in my head and closed my heavy eyelids. And dreamed of the old me.

I swear on my soul this gets better she won't do this for long and she will get with Maxon in the end I repeat she will be with Maxon in the end