G.U.A.R.D. Book #3: Recusant

-3-

    The next day, I woke to a hungry stomach, but to my surprise, I didn't feel thirsty. Probably because of the fluids they were giving me. After a moment, I also noticed I didn't need the bathroom—to my embarrassment, I realized that was because of the bag of yellow liquid floating above me. So they were also collecting my pee via catheter. So far, I didn't like this place too much.

Alaska gave me an apology for not explaining about that sooner and said that as soon as I was able to walk more, they would take the catheter out. For now, though, it stayed.

A lot of the day was spent wallowing in self pity. I held the seashell necklace often, absent-mindedly running my fingers over the bumps. But most of the time I just slept. I felt tired, my muscles weary. Alaska said my body was trying to recover from loss of blood and the bullet wound, and I needed loads of sleep to do that. So I just rolled with it.

Daniel came by again, but I said I still wasn't ready for company.

The next day was the same. I felt more rested, so I slept less. Unfortunately, that resulted in boredom. Alaska helped me sit up and swing my legs over the side of the mattress, but then I felt nauseas, and my stomach started hurting again, so I just lay back down. Daniel didn't come by. Honestly, the only reason I didn't want to see him was because I felt embarrassed. Embarrassed I was in a hospital gown, embarrassed I couldn't get up on my own, and especially embarrassed about... well... that one's obvious.

A new morning dawned. Alaska placed a calendar on the wall with pictures of cute puppies. She checked off the days as they went by, so I knew that today was Wednesday. My stomach hurt because I was so hungry, but from what the nurse said, I wouldn't get another meal until Monday.

That day, Alaska increased my pain meds and gave me some nausea medicine, then helped me stand up and walk around. I hated the fact that I couldn't do it alone, but hated the feeling of sitting all day more.

"I feel weak and tired," I said at one point, then felt embarrassed it came out in a whiny voice.

"Don't worry; that's completely normal," Alaska reassured me. One of her arms was under my shoulder, and the other grasped my hand. She was a lot stronger than she looked. "You haven't been exercising, so your muscles just aren't used to being in motion. It'll get better."

I nodded, and that was the end of the conversation. Daniel came by around the time that I got back in bed, and I seriously considered letting him in, but with a glance to the bag of yellow liquid, I declined. I felt so disgusted with myself. I couldn't take care of myself, and it made me want to cry and punch something at the same time. I wondered how much more of this I could take.

 ----

The next few days went by in a blur. Alaska helped me out of bed more and more, and I slept less and less. Eventually, they unhooked me from all the machinery and slowly let me sip small helpings of water. I was able to walk on my own, and even started using the bathroom, which—believe me—was a huge relief.

It also meant that I finally saw myself in the mirror.

The first time, I could only stare at the unfamiliar girl in the reflection. I had pale skin, which contrasted starkly to the black, wavy hair framing my face. My eyebrows were thick and black, and my lips were just a shade darker than my skin. As I leaned in closer, my gaze remained fixed on my eyes. My pupils were small due to the bright light overhead, and the irises were a mixture of different hues of blue. Mostly dark. Dark but vibrant.

Though I knew it was silly, I reached up a hand to make sure it was me. The reflection moved right along with me. I touched my cheek, examining its smooth surface closely in the mirror. My fingers moved to touch the small remnants of a bruise on my right temple. Another one decorated the cheek below my eye. I wondered where I had gotten them.