Too Much, Too Soon

Prologue

Do you ever feel trapped? You probably know the feeling after making a decision and then knowing immediately after, you shouldn't have, right? I'm not saying I feel like that all the time, I just do in essence; it gnaws at the back of my mind.

I'm not trying to be one of those 'oh my life sucks ass' people; that draws attention to me and that's not who I am. The only problem is, I feel like I may have jumped in too soon. It all came at me, life did; too much, too soon some would say. The situation with that is I don't like to hurt anyone, especially ones I love but that is the route I seem to be taking. I'm just confused and holding my life on a noose.

Maybe I did try to take on too much at once. I moved to the Bay Area, got a job, nearly was mugged, got a boyfriend, was thrown out of my house, moved in with someone I barely knew, essentially quit school, started a band, had my sister pass away, all whilst continuously feuding with my family; all of this in a period of six or so months. Granted, some of those were not in my control nonetheless, it sucked.

For the past four and a half months, I have been on the road with my boyfriend, Billie Joe Armstrong, and his band, and I have loved every second of it. However, it makes me wonder what it would be like to be on stage in these cities I've never been to before with the band I was in. I didn't want to leave Billie and his band, Green Day, but I also want to do something besides sit on the sidelines. To be honest, I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but I really don't; all I know is that I need to take things slow and find out what I want, even if someone, unfortunately, becomes hurt in the process.