Grace

Chapter 24

Mum and Dad did that looking at one another thing when I asked them about the photo I'd told Clara about. I sighed and picked at my pizza.

"We wanted to do theatre at university," Dad began. "But show biz isn't stable, certainly not something you can do with a baby to think about. When you came along we chose other things, things that we knew would be immediately employable. I'd always been interested in the law since that's what my family do."

"And I was always good at biology and chemistry," Mum said. "We were both so scared back then that all we knew was that we had to have enough money and for that we needed good jobs. After that, once we got stably established in our fields... Things got out of hand."

"Oh." I picked at my pizza a little more.

I could tell they were looking at each other again. I sighed again, annoyed with this new form of communication already.

"We get to follow you around your classes tomorrow," Mum said cheerfully.

I looked up, a hopeful smile in my eyes. "You're here tomorrow too?"

"Master Clarke convinced the headmaster to let us either visit for the weekend or take you home after classes tomorrow. It's up to you."

"Oh," I said but felt like I was falling or drowning. I'd never been given this choice before. I felt tiny in my seat with both of them looking so hopefully at me. "I, um, don't mind."

"Well... I'd kind of like to see you rowing," Dad said a little sheepishly.

"Ok," I said because it was something to grasp onto at least, some sort of plan that would hopefully lift the awkwardness. "We can do that. I think practice has been cancelled for the weekend because of parents' evenings, but I can probably swing something." I smiled tentatively. "You might even be allowed in a boat."

"I'm not sure –"

"That might be nice," Mum said.

" – that that's a good idea," Dad said. "You know what happened the last time I went rowing."

"No," Mum frowned. I felt better for it. At least I wasn't the only one learning things tonight.

Dad sighed. "Jamie tipped me out and nearly drowned me."

Mum rolled her eyes. "That happened when you were nine."

"Seven."

"And your brother isn't even this side of the world," she finished. "It'll be fun."

I sort of wanted to say "Pleeeeeeeease, Dad" but thought better of it. I was seventeen for goodness sake. I did look at him in askance though. Mum was looking at him too. He looked between us, resolve breaking and a bashful smile playing on his face.

"Ok, then," he smiled and looked down at his plate for a moment. "Ok. But if I fall in –"

"I'm going to laugh at you," Mum promised.

His jaw dropped and she stuffed one of my chips in his mouth.

"Excuse me," I said and quickly left the room.

I ended up outside even though it was dark and cold. That was good though, the cold I mean. It seeped through the weirdness I was feeling and helped to ground me. Whilst I'd spent a huge amount of the afternoon crying and I felt all lethargic from the emotions of the day, what had happened was good. But sorting through it all was difficult. It was difficult enough to process that Mum and Dad were now going to be treating me differently, better, but they'd completely changed too. I'd never seen them both so free and happy. I'd never seen them smile so much, never seen them sing or play piano, never seen them blush.