Stumbling Through

Strange Moods

Chapter Nine

 

My Uncle ate our breakfast in silence the next morning. I could feel him shooting me weird glances, and he even opened his mouth to try to start a conversation a couple of times. But I really didn’t want to have this conversation, so I made no attempts to encourage it.

The tense silence filled the house, and I couldn’t wait to get out of there this morning.

My Uncle cleared his throat heavily as I scooped the last spoonful of my cereal into my mouth.

I sighed inwardly looking up.

“I’m going to visit for a couple of days tomorrow.” He said quietly.

I clenched my jaw nodding my head.

“I assume you won’t be straight home tonight.” He continued, fidgeting nervously in his seat.

“Yeah.” I said my voice coming out strangled. This was why I hated having this conversation every year. It never got any easier.

“I wish I could take you with me.” He said. Was that meant to be comforting? I gripped tightly to the metal spoon in my hand as I picked up my empty bowl, taking it to the sink.

“I know.” I said, refusing to meet his eyes.

“If you need me to come home early I-”

I didn’t let him get though his whole sentence. “I can call you. I know.” I licked my lips. “Look I need to go to school, I’ll see you whenever I get home.”

I ignored the dejected look on my Uncle’s face, and the guilt that swarmed in my stomach. I was jealous as hell right now that he got to go and I didn’t, but I didn’t want to take it out on him.

It wasn’t his fault.

Clearing my throat I picked up my belongings, and shrugged on my jacket.

“There’s a parcel on my bed…do you mind taking it for me?” I asked eventually, not able to look directly at him.

I vaguely heard him affirming that he would before I left the house after giving him a quiet thank you. Feeling everything weighing heavily on my shoulders.

Today had started off crap, and it wasn’t looking to get any better.

At school I could barely pay attention to any one thing.

Teacher’s speeches seemed a million times more boring. My friends’ rants of complaints didn’t seem worth listening to. Everything had been dulled over, like there was a thick fog separating me from the surrounding world.

Nothing felt real.

“So it’s that time of year again huh?” Chrissie’s voice broke me out of the millionth daze I had fallen into that day.

I clenched my jaw. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I said harshly, but I knew I would be forgiven. They always forgave me every time.

A brief smile passed over Chrissie’s lips as she took the chair next to me where I had been hiding in the library away from everyone.

“I probably wouldn’t enjoy listening to it.” She joked, but it didn’t even get a smile from me. She sighed loudly. “I brought you some lunch.” She changed the subject passing me a still packaged sandwich.

I glanced down at it. “I’m not really hungry.” I muttered, my throat feeling scratchy from the lack of use today.

Chrissie shrugged her shoulders. “Spencer is looking for you.” She informed me, not making me feel any better.