Fifty Shades Later

Chapter Four

My insides were beginning to twist into tangled knots when the nurse stammered out that horrific statement.

"This could be a false alarm, right?" I stuttered. "I mean, this couldn't possibly mean my baby is dead?"

My sentences were starting to come off as desperate cries with each word.

"Ma'am, our monitors don't lie. I wish I could tell you that it's just a false alarm, but it's not. Your baby is deceased and quite frankly, there is nothing we can do about it. You're not alone, millions of up coming mothers have experienced a miscarriage, and it's more than likely that you couldn't have done anything to harm the baby, being that you're perfectly healthy." Her lips then turned into a thin line as she stood up to walk to the door.

"Well, you better fucking run some more tests. Surely, there's something you can do considering there are some of the best goddamn doctors in Seattle here." Christian hissed, as he made his way to the doctor. "I can buy this hospital 200 times over again, so I suggest you do something or you're at loss of a job."

"There's nothing I can do! What do you expect us doctors to do, we're not miracle workers! Your baby is dead and there's nothing we can do. I'm genuinely sorry." And with that, the doctor walked out.

                           ***
The drive home was filled with silence and regret. Regret because I feel like I could have done something, regardless of what the doctor said about me not being able to have done something to prevent the miscarriage.

Christian didn't speak one word in the car. His hands were gripping on the wheel so hard that you could see white and red in his knuckles. As soon as we pulled up in the driveway, he slammed the door shut and practically ran into the house.

Shit, was he mad at me? What the hell did I do? This wasn't my fault, the doctor even said so. So, what the fuck is going on?

I walked into the house, making sure to shut the door quietly so I wouldn't get Christian in an even worse mood.

"Where's teddy?" I called, waiting for a response from Ms.Jones.

"He's sleeping in his room. He passed out like a light about 2 hours ago. That's early for Teddy, considering it's only 6:30. Would you like some dinner?" She questioned, waiting for a response.

"I'm fine. I'm just going up to see the baby." I responded, plastering a fake smile on my face.

As I stepped into Teddy's room, tears stung the back of my eyes and I couldn't fight them back as I stared at his innocent, beautiful face.

He could have had a sister. A sibling. And I took that away from him. I wouldn't be surprised if my whole family hated me now.

Footsteps approached behind me, and I whipped my head around to find Christian in the doorway.

"You did this. You put us in this situation. I swear, Ana if you had been eating more, or properly taking care of yourself we wouldn't be in this situation right now. This miscarriage is your fault, and I hope you have to live with this guilt for the rest of your life." Christian practically whispered, but still making sure I could hear him.

"This isn't my fault! It was never my fault. You heard the doctor, there was nothing I could've done to prevent it. So, drop it! I don't know who the hell you think you are telling me I don't properly take care of myself, but I do. And I'm sorry if I pay more attention to your son than I do to myself, but that's what mothers do. Mothers put their children before them and there's no way in hell I could be wrong about that."

I was sobbing at this point, but I didn't care. Christian had seen me at my worst, so it wasn't a priority to make sure I looked pretty while arguing with him.

"I thought you would be a good husband and help me through this time, but unsurprisingly I was wrong."

I stomped out of the room, making my way toward our bedroom. I collected my things, the most essential ones anyway, and got the hell out of there.

I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't care. As long as I was away from that monster who had just taken over Christians mindset.

Hi everybody! So, from now on I am going to try to interact more with you guys!:)

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This was such a hard chapter to write for me, because I always hate seeing Ana and Christian in a  shitty situation like this! Tell me how you feel about this, and if you would like to make my day please vote for my story, comment, and share!

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OliviaDornan