Revelation

Chapter two: Adventurous

L.A is amazing. I was a selfish kid to be ignorant about it. The weather is refreshing and I made friends instantly mainly because I hid the adventurous side of me. I'm not ashame to say that I became girly. I think this was what my mom wanted. I wasn't social and she wanted me to be if not, thats not living. My last two years of highschool were fantastic. I begged my mom to not place me back to school though it was only for two years, I can continue to being homeschooled but she denied. She told me to be myself but I knew that wasn't going to work. It never did. But I was actually popular, once again became I hid who I was. It was easier for me to be that way. I was so much simpler to pretend I was into makeup, boys, and love. By my Senior year I came to realize I wasn't pretending anymore. This left me dumbfounded as I tried to understand what had happened and why? It was frightening considering I was liking it.

Earlier that day, afterschool I hanged out with this guy named Pete. Was it a date you may ask? At first I wasn't sure but at the end of the day when he dropped me off by my fascinating home which I give props to my mom, he leaned over and kissed me. I knew there and then it was a date. The second thing that went through my mind was what the hell was I feeling? I got this chill that spread through my entire body like a viscous virus multiplying. My stomach muscles felt like they were twisting and my heart, that I don't even know how to explain. It was just a strange feeling for me to even put in words. No, of course not I've never been kissed. I was living in the middle of nowhere antisocial for about ten years. I knew what happened but my body was still in shock mode. I stared at Pete for a very long time, as he stared back. I guess he took this as acception because he leaned in to kiss me again but more passionate. It was romantic now that I'm thinking about it. It was late at night, there was no moon, and the stars were shinning bright. It was beautiful. But for me, not so much, I wanted him the hell off.

I was confused, you just can't strike a girl twice! I pushed him off, struggled my way out his car, and dashed my way inside my house without a word. Except for the second I stepped foot in my room I burst into laughter. I took deep breaths as though I ran 50 miles and laid on my bed with a grin. Adrenaline, the old me said. In that moment I remembered everything I have pushed away. The human anatomy rushed through my brain. It was a fight or flight response. It was sure flight! I've never walked so fast in my life. In that moment I felt my hands shaking. I missed knowing this. Who was I truly becoming? I liked this whole girly thing but will it last? I still want to see the world. The school year was nearly over anyways, so I chose the adventure.

Pete and I dated for five months. I told him all my dreams and how I use to be as a child. He loved me and most importantly he accepted who I was. Yes, I still continued the girly side because thats who I was but I was also into nature again. I can be both, right? Correct. For once I was right. Turns out everyone thought it was pretty cool what I knew and wanted to do. I owed my mom 20 bucks. She was right, like always.

In those five months I did everything possible with friends and Pete because I knew that I'll have to seperate myself from them. They, of course didn't know this. Me being the one with the money, took them everywhere. The beach, disneyland, shopping, hollywood, and anywhere else you can possibly think of. Life was great, until the school year ended. My mom helped me enroll to the most helpful University for my studies. I wanted to learn the brain, basically everything science. Saying goodbye was harder than I thought. My friends too had to go their own way. They all understood and we'll stay in touch. Me being me didn't believe that but I didn't want to break their hearts even more. The only greedy one was Pete. He wasn't very happy with the idea of me breaking up with him because I was going to focus on something else more important.

"Life is about moving on, trust me I know." I remember telling him. Did he understand? No, of course not. He was choosing not too. It wasn't easy for me either what was he thinking? It made me angry and I just left without looking back. This was a new chapter again, this was my life and I was going to achieve what I wanted from a young age.

But secretly I wish Pete could have turned me around and convinced me into something else. I was the selfish one, I didn't see it coming. My life would have been very different, for the better.

Trust me.