Revival • Jelena

O n e

"It's like I could cry if that's the last time I'd see you again, but I'll never tell you just how I felt, you might just not care and it might just not help. What if the feelings just don't make no sense to you?"

I had finally come up with a line that described exactly how I felt. I wanted to show everybody what I had been going through for months, and my music was the only way to do that. I wasn't sure people would appreciate my new way of making music but I felt like it was the only thing that described the actual me and what was in my heart.

The past few months have been incredibly horrible to me. I've been dealing with so much stress, both in my career and love life. I feel alone, misunderstood by everyone and there isn't much I can do about it. I just want to stay in bed all day and forget about all the things that have caused so much depression and isolation in my life. It isn't easy, though, because everything that now makes me sad is what once made me happy.

I want to put all of my feelings into words, into lyrics. I've got so much shit to say and I want the world to know the real me, I want to be able to talk about my struggles and achievements without being judged by everyone, which is very hard when you're a pop star and everybody's always making up stuff about you. I know that's a big part of being a celebrity and I have to handle it, but now I want people to handle my truth.

I looked and my phone and realized it was already 12PM. It's so damn late, I thought to myself. Every time start working on something new I end up forgetting about the rest, I kept on complaining. I couldn't waste any more time because I had an important meeting at 1PM and I needed to get ready.

Before taking a quick shower I opened my closet and tried to put together a nice outfit. I picked a grey long sleeve shirt, a long black knitted cardigan, some ripped jeans and a pair of brown ankle boots. Since I wasn't in a good mood, I tried to pick something that would make me feel confident. After I took a shower, I put on some make up and straightened my hair, then I checked myself out in the mirror for a few seconds and actually liked my outfit.

That appointment meant everything to me, because it could've changed my life forever. I was nervous and shaking and, for a moment, I even thought about pretending to be sick and not showing up. But as much as I wanted to ditch the appointment, I couldn't and I would have never missed it, even if my absence wouldn't have been that big of a deal to the person that I was meeting.

I took my leather bag and quickly closed the door behind my back. I ran down the stairs and finally reached my garage. It wasn't as cold as I expected it to be, which got me disappointed since I had purposely chosen a warm and cozy outfit.

I got in the car and turned on the radio, hoping it would calm me down a little bit. I was singing along to Bad Blood by Taylor Swift when I realized I had reached my destination. I hated myself for being so nervous because I knew I was the only one who truly cared about the appointment and I knew I was going to be disappointed within a couple of hours. Besides, I was surrounded by paparazzi and I wasn't in the mood for pictures, stupid questions and faking smiles. I tried to avoid them as much as possible and finally got in the hotel where the meeting was going to have place.

As soon as I got in the hotel I saw him. His perfect image took my breath away. He was wearing a back long sleeve shirt, back jeans and some black Vans. I couldn't really see his hair because he was wearing a big black hat that covered his whole head. He was talking to some man and his back was facing me. I didn't know whether to wait for him or turn around and run to my car as fast as I could.

I was about to push the door to get out when that man looked over at me, making Justin turn around.
Well shit, guess I can't leave anymore, I thought to myself.
He was wearing some big aviator Ray Bans, which made it hard for me to see his eyes. After he greeted that man he started to make his way to me.

"Hi Selena, I'm glad you came", he said in a calm voice.
"It's nice to see you again", I said slightly smiling.
My heart was beating so fast, I could barely feel it and I was starting to breathe faster. Hearing Justin pronounce my name felt incredibly good, because I hadn't heard his voice in such a long time and it was one of my favorite things.
He gave me a tight hug, making his chest touch mine. I've missed your heartbeat, I thought to myself.

"So what's up? What have you been up to? Have you been writing anything new?" He kept on talking and asking questions as if we were two old friends. How could he be so calm? How could he handle the situation so easily? It pissed me off how he looked completely uninterested and wasn't putting any effort into our conversation. I had so many mixed emotions and I was trying to impress him, even thought my answers were quite weak.
"I'm good, I just started working on a new song and I'm really proud of how it's turning out". Shit I was so awkward. I bet he didn't even care about my music.

"Do you wanna eat something?" he asked me moving his hand back and forth over his stomach, "I'm hungry". I simply nodded and he quickly got up telling me to follow him upstairs into his room, where there was food waiting for us. I nodded again and we both got into the elevator.

"So... What's your new album called?"
"Revival", I answered all proud trying not to look at him.
"Cool"
Cool? He thought it was cool? I had put so much love and effort into my new album, it was my favorite thing, it meant so much to me and I couldn't wait for people to hear it and all he could say was cool.
At that point, I knew he didn't care about me and our meeting, but I didn't want it to end. I wanted to know what he had been up to and I felt like telling him about my dreams and projects.

Once we got to his hotel room I felt my heart stop. His personal stuff was all over the place: his clothes, his jewelry, his journal. He hadn't changed at all, everything was just as I remembered it. My mind got flooded with old memories and flashbacks. I wanted to go back so bad. I wanted to be happy again, but I knew he couldn't give me the happiness I was looking for.

My eyes were wandering around the room, when something captured my attention making my heart skip a beat.

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Hi guys! So this is my very first jelena fanfic and I'm really excited about it. It's inspired by Selena's new album Revival, from which I'm going to quote my favorite lyrics, incorporating them into this story (I already quoted some, like/comment if you noticed that). I hope you like it as much as I do! Leave a comment and let me know!

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