Revival • Jelena

F o u r

Selena's POV

His soft lips were still touching mine.
After a few minutes he pulled out and stared into my eyes.

During the kiss, I had placed my hand on his chest without realizing it. My eyes shifted from his eyes to my hand, as I moved it away. He quickly took it and kissed it. The same butterflies as before invaded my stomach.
I love you, I mouthed as he kissed my hand. I wasn't brave enough to say it out loud.

"We should get back to the party" he said, still holding my hand.
"Yes, we should" I agreed, disappointed.

-

I didn't want to be there. Everyone was so loud and the only person who didn't hate me was Justin. Every single person in that room had something against me and I didn't know why.
The room was filled with so many models and their jealous eyes were on me. Why? I had literally nothing that they couldn't have, and they were all so much more beautiful and confident than me.

I unlocked my phone and checked the time. It was barely 1:30AM, but I was already fed up. I just wanted to go home, get into comfy clothes and go to sleep. I wanted to get away from all those people, but I didn't want to disappoint Justin at the same time. He looked so happy and I didn't want to put him in a bad mood just because some random model was giving me hateful looks.

I sat down and unlocked my phone again. I sent a message to Taylor asking her to join the party, then opened the Twitter app. I was hoping Taylor would see my message because I really needed someone to talk to, and Justin was nowhere to be found.

"I'm done" I said locking my phone and getting up. I started wandering around the room, trying to avoid as many people as possible and looking for the exit.

"Selena!" I heard a voice behind my back. I turned around to see Jayde and her friends.
Oh god not again please, I thought.
"Jade" I said, trying to fake a smile.
"What are you doing all alone? Come with me and my friends" she said with a huge smile on her face.
Excuse me? Since when was Jayde so nice to me? Last time I checked she called me garbage.
"Uh, thanks but, uhm, I'm leaving" I said nervously.
"Come on Sel, don't let me beg you! There's still a few things you need to see" she said with a grin on her face. What did she mean?

She put her arm around my shoulders and led me into the crowd.
"Look, Jayde I really need to g-" my eyes widened.
I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed.
I felt Jayde take her arm off my shoulders and whisper in my ear "told you you are not wanted here, bitch".

I was still staring at them.
Everybody was drunk, laughing and pushing me as they staggered, but I didn't care. It was like I couldn't see anything and anyone but the two people that were standing in front of me.

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, trying not to cry. I looked around, but Jayde was gone.
I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. My eyes were glued on them, following every move they were making.

Suddenly someone's body collapsed on mine, making me lose balance.
What the fuck, I thought.
"Yo Justin!" he screamed, even before I could realize who it was.

Justin was passionately kissing a blonde girl. I couldn't tell who, though, because her face was literally being eaten by him.
He pulled out and turned around to see who was calling him, still holding that girl's face in his hands.
His lips were red and swollen, his eyes tired and dull. His hair was messy and I could see the girl's fingers through it.

He looked at the guy who was standing next to me, then shifted his eyes on me and quickly let go of the girl. He took her hands off his hair and opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't want to look at him a second more.

I turned around and started running through the crowd, trying to find the exit. My eyes were filled with tears and my vision went blurry, my heart was so beating fast I couldn't feel it anymore.
I was glad every single person was drunk and too busy dancing to notice me, because I didn't want anyone to see me like that.
I can't believe it. I'm so stupid, I kept repeating myself. I'm so stupid, I should've known, I should've known.

I finally saw a black door and felt relieved. I ran my fingers through my hair and opened it.
Cold, heavy air hit my skin, making me shiver.
I'm done trying, I thought, wiping my tears away.
I wrapped my black stole around my shoulders and made my way to my car.
As I got in, I felt my phone vibrate. I unlocked it and, as soon as I read the message, I felt tears coming again.

I dialed the number, instead of replying to the message. I needed to talk, to let it all out.
"Hey Sel"
"Hey Tay, I'm so done I swear" I said, crying into my phone.
"Don't worry, I'm here for you. Your name is all over Twitter, all I can see is tweets saying you cried at a party. What happened?" she asked worried.
"Justin... He was-"
"Selena why are you still wasting your time on someone like him? You need to forget him, Sel. Look at you, do you like your tears, your swollen eyes, your cracked voice? I don't think you do, and that's all because of him."
"I know but... But I was having fun, we had a nice time together and then" I paused, trying to control myself "I saw him kissing a girl and-"
"See" she interrupted me again. "Please Selena I care about you and he obviously doesn't. Move on." she said trying to convince me.
"I know it's not easy, but you have to try" she added.
"Okay thank you for listening to me, Taylor. It means a lot" I said smiling, although she couldn't see me.
"Love you, Sel. Get some rest."
"Love you" I hung up.

-

I was finally home.
I took off my dress and high heels, threw my purse on the bed and took a long, hot shower.

Why am I so stupid? First he kisses me and then he kisses someone else. He always makes the same mistakes, he will never learn and I'm so done. I should just follow Taylor's advice and move on.

I closed my eyes and let the hot water fall all over my face.

Once out of the shower, I went into my closet and looked for something comfortable to wear.
I saw an old black t-shirt and felt like crying again. I grabbed it and put it on. It still had his cologne all over it, after all that time.

I layed in bed and smelled the collar of the t-shirt one more time. I felt less alone, less broken. The smell of him always made me feel safe. That reminded me of when I used to spray his cologne all over me when he was busy at the studio. I'd fall asleep to his perfume, waiting for him to come home.
I missed living with him, seeing him everyday, feeling his hands all over my body, his voice, everything. I missed him so much, and I would have taken him back if he'd asked me to.
No matter how many times he'd hurt me, I still wanted him. My heart needed him.

I let the thought of him take over my mind and body. My hands started moving down without me realizing it. I imagined his face, his lips, his eyes looking into mine as my hands wandered around my body. I wanted him so bad. I slightly opened my mouth and moaned his name.

I couldn't erase him from my mind.

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Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not updating :( but here it is! And I'm going to upload the next chapter either tomorrow or on Sunday :)
You guys are amazing, your comments make me smile and I'm glad you're enjoying this story!

What do y'all think of this chapter? Should Selena move on? And what about Justin, should he apologize or ignore the whole situation?

P.s.: which song is this inspired by? Leave a comment!