My Dear Lieutenant

Chapter 3

     Later that day, while I was making myself a snack in the kitchen, I heard a series of thumps. Running over to the stairs, I saw that Helga had fallen down them with the laundry basket. The clothes were everywhere, but she seemed fine.

     Turning around, I saw Zoe and Seth crouched behind the sofa. Of course they had something to do with this. I walked over to the couch and stared down at them, noting that they each had a bottle of vegetable oil in their hands. I grabbed a shoulder of each of their shirts and pushed them onto the sofa, crossing my arms.

     "What do you two think your doing?" I questioned, pulling the vegetable oil from their grips.

     "We're getting rid of Lieutenant Loser," Zoe told me.

     "Why?" I inquired, "I know you guys haven't gotten off to the best start, but he's trying to protect us. Mom trusts him, and that should be enough for you two. He'll only be here for a little while, then Mom will be back. Can't you get along with him until then?"

     "No," Seth replied stubbornly, "We won't have any doors left in the house by the time he leaves."

     A few hours later, a problem came up. Helga tried to leave. Well, she didn't try, she succeeded. I could hear the struggle going on between her and Shane from my bedroom, where I was reading. Popping out of my room, I saw that Zoe, Seth, and Lulu were doing the same. Knowing that Shane would want to speak to us, I went into Peter and Tyler's room. I helped Peter out of his bed and picked up Tyler, then went out into the hallway and down the stairs, holding Peter's hand. The other three followed me to the living room.

     Soon Shane came back into the house and into the living room.

     "Okay everybody, listen up. There's been a change of plans," he told us, "Your mother's not coming home as soon as she expected."

     "When is she coming back?" Lulu asked.

     "Soon," Shane replied, "So for now we'll just have some more big fun."

     "That's what we've been doing? Having fun?" Seth asked. I lightly hit his arm, sending him a look to be quiet.

     "But tomorrow's a school day," Lulu said. Shane bent down and picked Tyler up from his playpen.

     "I have wrestling practice," Seth spoke up.

     "I need a signed release for Driver's Ed," Zoe told Shane.

     "I've got Fireflies," Lulu remembered.

     "I have to go to the mall. There's this new halter top on sale and I have to get it," Zoe said.

     "I have to stop-" I didn't catch the rest of what Lulu tried to say because they all started to speak at the same time.

     "Whoa, okay, okay. Halt," Shane told them, holding up his hand. "We'll take this hill one inch at a time. Only then can we rise to the challenge." Tyler, who was still in Shane's arms, passed gas, then began to laugh. "Okay, who's going to change Red Baby?"

     Zoe, Seth, Lulu, and Peter left the room. Shane stared after them and sighed. I came up behind him and tapped his shoulder.

     "Here, I'll take him," I offered, holding my hands out. Shane handed Tyler over to me, then began to walk away. I grabbed the back of his T-shirt. He could have easily kept walking, but the tug must have made him stop. He turned to face me. "I'm not going to be able to change his diaper all the time. You have to learn to do it yourself," I told him. I reached out and took one of his hands, pulling him behind me as I went to Tyler's room. His hand was much bigger than mine, and the warmth that it gave off comforted me. I didn't really want to let go, but I had to.

     It took quite some time, but I eventually taught Shane how to change a diaper. He seems to be scarred by the experience, but he'll get over it.

     "Okay troops, breakfast," Shane announced as we sat at the dining table. The packages that he had placed on out plates looked like military meals, but I suppose that he didn't really know what else to give us. If I had woken up earlier, I would've made a proper breakfast, but there wasn't enough time now.

     I got Tyler's food from the fridge and began to feed him. As he chewed, I opened my package and began to eat, giving the smaller, easier to eat items to Peter. Shane must have noticed the others hesitate.

     "What are you waiting for?" Shane asked, "Dig in. Feel free to mix and match. Stay away from the cheese; it'll back you up for a month. Don't worry about running out, I can get lots more of these. I've survived months off this stuff."

     "Okay, like I'm really going to eat all of these carbs," Zoe said sarcastically. Shane looked confused.

     "Stop complaining, Zo. Just eat. It's one meal," I told her.

     "I can cross my eyes," Lulu told Shane, smiling proudly. "Wanna see?"

     "No," Shane answered immediately, but she did it anyway. She turned her head towards Tyler, who began to whimper. His whimpers turned into full out crying, so I tried my best to calm him down.

     "Tyler hates it when I do that," Lulu explained.

     "I know how he feels," Shane replied.

     The tablecloth began to move all of a sudden. Apparently when I had turned my back on Peter to calm Tyler down, he had gotten to his feet and grabbed hold of the tablecloth. Now our breakfast was on the floor, along with a mess of spilled orange juice.

     "Red Five!" Shane exclaimed, but it did no good.

     Standing up, I lifted Tyler into my arms, bouncing and humming as I walked after Peter, who was dragging the tablecloth into another room. I heard the phone ring, but I was focused on getting Tyler to stop crying and Peter back in the kitchen.

     When I succeeded, I heard Shane say that it was the vice principal that had called. If Seth and Zoe arrived late once more, they would be suspended.

     Almost immediately after the call, Shane disappeared into another room, and reappeared several minutes later with a utility belt full of juice and milk, a baby carrier strapped to his back, and a bag full of diaper supplies. Man, he was taking this way to seriously.