She's a Woman

Chapter Five - Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

My new life as Michael Edwards had a bit of a rocky start, but as the weeks went by I felt reasonably settled. I got into a happy little routine: I'd spend the day hanging out with the lads in the band, we'd play a show or have a rehearsal in the evening, then I would go home with George. The rest of his family were very compassionate towards me, especially his mother. She didn't seem to mind having a complete stranger living in her home!

I slowly began to befriend to other band members. George was very kind and thoughtful and always stuck up for me. I took quite a shine to him and – as he was a few months younger than I was – took him on as an unofficial little brother. We would mostly stick together during the long rehearsals and performances that went on at the Cavern. From what I could tell everyone seemed to have their own little set of mates, and they all felt differently towards me; the new guy in the group.

Stu never really said much to me; neither did Pete. The only time they really made conversation was to ask me questions like what time it was or whether I could give them a match. (A lot of smoking went on in between shows and practices, but I always hated smoking so never took part.) When they weren't pestering me for matches, Pete and Stu messed around with their instruments, or chatted to John or George – but they left Paul well alone.

Paul didn't like me. I could tell from the very moment I met him that he didn't want anything to do with me, and for a long time I couldn't understand why. Whenever I tried to talk to him he would stare off into the distance and act like he hadn't heard me. Sometimes he would sneer at me and flounce off, not the slightest bit interested in what I had to say. I tried not to let it bother me too much and stayed a safe distance away from Paul. Even then he gave me filthy looks from across the room.

John wasn't too keen on me either at first, but he was a lot more open to the idea of a sixth band member than some of the other lads. As the weeks wore on he began to include me more in the band's decision making, and sometimes he even pulled me up to have a friendly chat and a cigarette (the latter I always declined). I quite liked John. He was always very funny and pleasant, and he even protected me when some of the other lads got a bit nasty towards "the new dupe". 

One evening we were all crowded in the little backstage room of the Cavern. Everyone was all het up and excited because this was the first show where we would be the main attraction! It was also my first time playing in front of a live audience, and I was sweating bullets.

"Are you okay, Michael?" John asked, strolling up to me. He looked incredibly handsome in his jacket-and-jeans ensemble, and his hair was greased upwards into an Elvis style quiff. I had to force myself not to giggle and blush. I wasn't a girl anymore; I was Michael, a rough and tumble Teddy Boy.

"Not really," I mumbled sheepishly. "I've never played in front of an audience."

"Oh, it's as simple as anything," John said a little indistinctly. There was a half-finished cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth and he had to clamp his lips together to keep it in place. 

"That's easy for you to say," I said stiffly. "You've done this heaps of times."

"I still get nervous sometimes, believe it or not."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're always as cool as a cucumber onstage!"

John grinned at me and took a long drag on his ciggie. "You're a real toady, you know that? Well, flattery doesn't charge these batteries, Mister." 

I chuckled nervously. I hadn't tried to flatter him, had I? I was simply making a statement. It didn't really matter how my comment translated; John and I were actually making conversation! He was acting really funny and relaxed. This gave me courage.