Broken

chapter 21

Arial P.O.V

I woke up the next morning feeling like shit I do not know what is happening I had a nightmare again; and I have this tight feeling in my heart. I feel like cutting.

What! no; no one had ever wanted me to stop doing it; well its because no one ever knew about me basically slicing my wrists daily. I am a sick f**ed up person who was not supposed to leave Rehab. I do not want to let Niall down thou. <as I always do.> I always let people down. Its just the way I am.

Things happen that I can not say. I berried it deep inside until it just gets too much to handle so I burst.  The thing that makes me calm down is cutting.

It was the hardest in Rehab; finding sharp objects around was not the easiest thing.

Because of course, I was there in first place because I cut. And bunch of other stuff, but mostly cutting so the doctors know what are they supposed to hide. That; and them checking my wrist often.

They may check your wrists but they will not check your thighs.

I walked to the bathroom lazily as it possibly could get.

Eleanor and Sophi were watching TV and talking while having breakfast.

Lottie was no where to be seen, or the boys. Lou and Lux where not there as well.

I turned the water on, taking my clothes off ..... I dried myself ...... shit I always forget to bring something to wear. Since when do hotel bathroom are not in the rooms !!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrapped the towel securely around my body ... getting out  leggings and a T-shirt to wear as soon as I entered the room. putting my clothes on. Bra, panties, leggings, T-shirt. CAN IT GET ANY MORE BORING.

I walked to bed again taking my book; as I begin to read. A few hours later I was done with the book. Feeling slightly better I had accomplished something.

I got up heading to the kitchen ..... scrambled eggs and a cup of tea. Done

On my way out I saw the two girls passed out on the sofa. I covered them both with a soft blanket. Then went to sleep again myself. Well I could not so I read some mor;  until I was able to.

I woke up to an irritating sound. "Oh we might wake Ari up. Better take it somewhere else," I heard

"Its okay guys I am awake" I said

"Gezz you scared the crap out of me " Sophi gasped

I giggled "Sorry"

She started again with the blow drier. Aka the irritating sound.

"Are the boys back??" I asked "Yeah, but Harry and Liam are out again" Eleanor said

I nodded stretching "Good morning" I said "More like good evening its almost 3" Eleanor said giggling "Wow seriously" I gasped.

"Yeah come on get up" Sophi said giving me a hand. I thanked her then walked to the bathroom washing my face and what not... I stood in front of the mirror going back and forth on whether to cut or not.

I ran out the bathroom to Niall's room knocking softly then creping my head in. "Niall" I called

"Hay babe!! what's up ? come in" Niall said patting the bed for me to take a seat. He was on his laptop.

"Can I set with you for a little while!!" I said

"Do you need to ask??" I took that as a yes and walked to his bed laying next to him "What is wrong are you okay??" He asked "I am fine, just really bored" I said my voice small.