Why Not? (Completed)

Why Not? (Chapter one)

It all happened so fast. I could feel my heart. Pumping, skipping beats. My brain trying to rap my head around why this was happening. Here I am sitting in the middle of the auditorium. My friends sitting next to me. But this specific friend sitting right beside me. Her hands crossed over her breasts. Her breathing was normal as I could see. She was listening to all that was happening. I started to hear the voices fade away. I could only hear my heart at this point. I couldn't explain what I felt. Her hand was underneath my arm gripping at my side near my bra with two fingers. I sat silently. I didn't want to move. I didn't know why I didn't want to move. I just didn't. My body temperature was rising. I felt heat rising up my body. I could see her breathing became enraged. Speeding up as her fingers tightened in place. It felt perfect I didn't want to ruin it. I kept thinking, "don't do anything wrong to ruin this moment." But the funny thing is she knew me. She knew exactly when I was happy, sad, mad, excited, nervous, about to fall into a million pieces, and many other times. But what was weird is that she knew right this second what I felt; without even looking at me. She shifted her fingers closer to the edge. I couldn't stand her touch on my body in such a helpless position. I shifted my body weight, and I felt a slight tug on my left shoulder. I turned my head to face her, and she said, "can you wait for me in the hall? I need to talk to you." I nodded my head in response. Then I Started thinking of things I could have possibly done wrong.

I stood there in the hall waiting impatiently. I knew that it was important. If it wasn't that drastic she would have told me by now. I knew she did that thing on purpose, but i didn't know why she did it. I haven't told her. I haven't told anyone. I'm not even sure of myself. Questions kept turning around in my head. I was so confused. I knew as soon as we had this conversation, everything would change. I didn't want anything to change. I loved her definitely as a friend, but I started questioning my love in that auditorium. I heard something. I turned around and saw her standing behind me. She looked flawless. But she didn't speak. She raised her hand to grab mine, and whisked me into a quiet room so that we could talk.

I admired her beauty as she shut the door quickly, but gracefully. As soon as she turned I turned my head to face the window so she didn't know I was staring at her. I could hear her clear her throat. A moment of silence passed. I could see that she was waiting for me to say something, but I though she might want to start this one since she was the one who said we needed to talk. A moment of awkward silence passed. Then we both said "so" at the same time like it was rehearsed. I didn't actually mind; anything to break the silence was welcome. So I looked at her, I wanted to say something, but I forgot. Our eyes locked on each other. I suddenly forgot her name. What was it? This has never happened to me before. She was looking at me smiling. She knew I was panicking. I think she knew what I was thinking as well. So she spoke and everything came back to me in a rush. I quickly said, "Summer, can you please tell me what is happening I can't stand not knowing anymore." Summer burst out laughing: "I know you can't stand being in the hot seat." I responded in a way that I could only use with her, "oh, so being a bitch to me makes you laugh." She looked at me and said, "Okay cut the act I already know." My heart rate started to rise. I felt like I was gonna explode. Her eyes were on me. She knew I was thinking really hard. Then she placed her hand on my shoulder. Then moved it to my chest, to feel my heart beat. I couldn't look her in the eye. As my breathing started to speed up. She knelt down in front of me to look at my face. From all of the thoughts swirling in my head, tears started to rush down my face. She cupped my face and wiped of my tears. And she stared at me in silence. Then spoke, "I'm guessing what you are thinking of is not what I wanted to talk about, but it is more important right now. So please tell me what is causing you all this pain. Tell me if I can do anything to help you." I looked at her with a look of shame. I didn't know how to tell her this, but I figured out that as my friend she will have my back. I spoke with hesitation, "I don't want you to hate me. I'm afraid that if I tell you you might never speak to me again; that you might not accept." Summer shifted her weight and looked me in the eye and said, "no matter what it is you will always be important to me. You will always be the one I count on, and trust." I tried to break the eye contact because it was starting to get to me, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say if I started to cry again.