Food, Cats, and Being Lazy

Fourteen

Collin's party was the talk of the school for the remainder of the week. Everyone who was anyone was getting invited. I only got an invite because I was asked by someone else. That person only got an invite because Collin didn't want to get in trouble. I was pretty sure this party was going to royally suck. Especially since Collin and his pretty new girlfriend were going to be there, and this was the height of their new romance.

I decided to go anyway. Kind of because Anton didn't give me a chance to say no, and also because I'd never been invited to a party in my entire life. And if Anton liked me, that was just fine. I'd never had a boyfriend before. So I would probably say yes if he asked me out. Unless asking someone to a party qualifies as asking them out. In that case, was Anton my boyfriend?

I sat down on the curb out front of my house to wait for him to pick me up. I didn't want to seem too eager, but my mom was having a pyramid scheme candle party with a bunch of women. They were all seated in my living room, sniffing wax samples to decide which scents they wanted to spend too much money on. Plus, my dad was on his way home, and I didn't want him to be the one to answer the door when Anton showed up.

To my surprise, Paige was still in her room when I left to wait. I figured she was going to do that 'fashionably late' thing. But Vincent wasn't even there yet. Maybe he was on his way too. They were both just too cool to show up early or on time.

When Anton's car finally pulled up out front of my house, my stomach dropped. I could see Laura sitting in the front seat of his car. She was casually looking away as if she didn't see me, and this was just a minor detour. I stood up to go to the car, but Anton climbed out before I got there. Something on his face told me I was about to be humiliated.

"Hey," he said. I nodded.

"Hi."

"Listen, um—there's been a change of plans."

"Um—okay."

"It's not that I don't like you or anything. I just don't really know you. And well—Laura really wanted to go to this party, and Collin said I could only bring one person."

"Right—so naturally, I'm the odd one out."

"Well—like I said, I don't really know you, and Laura is my friend." I nodded and stepped back. My hands tightened over the sweater clutched in my fists. I wasn't going to let them see me cry. The window was down, and she was still facing away. Like she couldn't even look at me.

"Yeah—she has a lot of friends now. I'm glad they all finally see her the way I used to. It's really nice when people care about your personality over how cool your hair is. Thanks anyway."

I turned to go back inside before I could burst into tears. I heard the car door shut behind me, and they both drove off without a second glance or care in the world. They got rid of me. I didn't throw a fit. Why should they care if I was okay or not?

But I didn't want to go back inside and face my mother and her candle party. Mostly because I was sniffling a lot, and I could feel that I was on the brink of tears. I didn't want to run into Paige and have her rub it in my face. But maybe if my dad got home and found me crying on the front steps, he'd be so angry he'd kick Anton's butt. But that was probably unlikely because Anton was a minor, and my dad never hurt anyone. But also because my dad would probably come in the house through the garage. And even if he did find me, he'd probably just give me a long lecture about how life tests us or something.

So I plopped down onto the front steps and wiped the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I was so stupid. I should have said no. I didn't even know him or like him. He was right about that. So why did I jump to conclusions and automatically assume it meant he liked me? Laura spent every day with me for two years, and she didn't even like me. Paige had known me all my life, and she didn't like me. Even my parents didn't. The only person who did was my passive-aggressive cat.

And one other person.

I heard another car pull up out front and shut off. I would have figured it was my dad if he went through the garage. And I should have considered Vincent when I was thinking of all the people I wanted to hide from. Why did it always have to be him? Why couldn't I catch a break? Just like I expected, he sat down on the step beside me.

"You okay?" he asked. I shook my head and sniffled again.

"The dirt thing again," I explained.

"Who was it?"

"Collin's cousin Anton invited me to the party tonight. But he took someone else instead of me. He took the friend that suddenly got too cool to hang out with me, and they drove all the way here together just to tell me I couldn't come."

"That's not cool." I shook my head.

"I didn't even like him. I didn't even want to go to the stupid party. I only said yes because he asked." I sniffed. "And now I've been humiliated. Again. It feels like it never stops."

"You can go to the party with me. Collin is my friend. He won't say anything." I shook my head.

"No, Paige doesn't want me to go."

"She said she's not going." What? Paige? Paige WAS the party. "She asked me to come over here instead. But I'll just go to the party with you. It'll be fun."

"It's okay. I don't want to go now anyway. I don't want to be humiliated again. I'm just destined to be alone forever. I'm sixteen years old, and I've never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed. Who would want to kiss me anyway? I'm disgusting. My mouth is full of metal, and I'm fat, and my sister is hot. It's really unfair. I don't even have friends. Nobody wants to even be seen with me, let alone kiss me."

I was rambling. But he was listening intently anyway. I wasn't focused on him. I was just watching a snail slither across the path to go munch on my mom's front garden. But I could see from the corner of my eye that he had his eyes on me.

"Pip," he finally said. "What makes you think no one would want to kiss you?" I had to laugh.

"Look at me, Vinnie. I'm not exactly pretty. Then you stick me next to Paige, and it's like putting Igor next to Cinderella. I just become instantly uglier. And that's not even the worst of it. I don't know what it is about my personality that just repels people, but it must be something. I know I like to be alone sometimes, but it doesn't mean I want to be. I hate being alone. I hate not having friends. So no. I don't think there's a single person in the world who'd actually want to kiss me."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes again. I was fully crying now. And I didn't care if he saw it. The snail was still on its slow-moving journey, leaving behind a trail of slime on the cement. Vincent was quiet. He turned to watch the snail too. I felt stupid for unloading everything on him, but I couldn't help it. My mom said I needed to find someone to talk to because my thoughts would get all bottled up and come spilling out like when the pasta water got too hot and overflowed. I did it anytime anyone showed me the barest hint of attention. But who was I supposed to talk to? My cat?

"That's not true," he said quietly. Then I laughed through my tears.

"Right. I'll believe it when I see it."

"Do you trust me?" I turned to look at him. He wasn't joking. He was looking right at me.

"I trust that you're really nice and you always try to make me feel better because I'm your girlfriend's sister. But I don't believe you have any real wish to be my friend."

"Well—you're wrong."

"Right—well—I'm gonna head inside now." I stood up and reached for the door handle.

"Pip, stop," he said. I didn't really want to talk to him anymore. I didn't like his pity friendship. I spilled out my guts, and all he said was, "You're wrong." Like that was just supposed to make everything better. I turned to him anyway. I was a little irritated that he was always trying to be nice to me even though he didn't mean it.

But then he did something unexpected. It was something I'd never thought about in a million years. In fact, it was so far down my list of possibilities that marrying Collin and inviting Ringo Starr to our baby shower seemed like a more realistic scenario than my sister's boyfriend kissing me.

He put his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in before I had a chance to react. It wasn't a rough kiss. But it caught me completely off guard, and he must have known that. Before I realized what was happening, Vincent's lips were on mine, and my eyes were shut. He parted his lips, and my heart jumped into my throat.

I knew I should have pulled away and maybe slapped him. But I was being kissed. I, Piper Finnegan, was no longer a member of the never been kissed club. Because someone had put his lips on mine. I would have been elated about this fact until I remembered that this was the one person in the world that I shouldn't be kissing. This wasn't some guy at school who'd asked me to a party. This wasn't Collin. It was Vincent of all people. Paige's boyfriend. A member of the good-looking popular kid's club. The kind of guy who looked perfect next to a girl like Paige. And there he was, kissing her nerdy sister on the front porch.

It felt like hours in my head. But the truth was probably that it only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away. And he seemed almost as shocked as I was. But I was also just—furious. He cheated on my sister. I recognized that it was his misguided attempt to make me feel better. It was a pity kiss. Which wasn't very nice at all. But the fact that he'd cheated on her so quickly and had dragged me into too—it just made me livid. He didn't even ask me if he could be my first kiss.

So I shoved him hard.

"You were supposed to be the nice one," I said. He sighed and shut his eyes.

"I'm really sorry."

"You're an asshole."

"I'm gonna go inside." He slipped past me and into the house before I could say anything else.