Promise PT 2 (COMPLETED)

Faith

I THINK IM GOING TO DO SMALL UPDATES DAILY (AKA AS MUCH AS I CAN) 

ALL THE LOVE

X

-

LEX

--
Maybe I was right. When I said we weren't right, when we first met. I was right. Hell look at us now.

"Hey"  willow came in. Kian left, and Zander and Teegan are asleep on the bed next to me. I haven't cried yet.

"Hi"

She just looked at me and tears started rushing down my face.

"Oh honey" she rushed to my side, "I'm so so sorry"

I kept crying trying not wake them up.

"I swear I had no idea either. I wish I wish my son wasn't so damn ignorant. So are you really breaking up?"

" yeah. I can't do it anymore, I love him so much, so so very much. I want him to say no I won't to go them your my family. But at the same time, If I was in Andrea's place I'd beg, I'd pay any price. So I'm stuck. Do I ask him to stay, or do I let him go and maybe maybe find self happiness so he doesn't destroy everything"

"Darling I wish I could say but that's up to you"

"You've known him Longer. What would you do?"

"Truthfully. I know you're not gonna wanna hear it, but I'd let him go. You're okay, sure you're heart hurts like hell and it's gonna heart for a while but baby your so Smart, and pretty and you're doing just fine. Kians gonna be there because he loves you so much and the kids too, but he also has to be somewhere else. and you always. Always have us. I don't care the hour you're my daughter, call me. Drive here, I'll drive there. I'd do anything for you"

"You're the mom I never had growing up" I fell onto her lap crying, "what do I tell them? Teegan loves him so much, she won't do anything with out him. What do I tell her?"

"The truth. But simple. He had to go, he'll be back, but not like he used to be"

"I gave him the ring back."

"I'm so sorry Lex I really really am"

"I have to take care of two toddlers. I can do this, I'm a single woman in LA, what could go wrong?" I laughed.

"That's the spirit"

"Can I work here? In the summer, I know that's a lot to ask but I mean I don't wanna stay home alone all day more than I need to"

"Of course you can!  The camp is growing"

"Thank you so much"

"Of course I love you"

"I love you too"

"Now you should get some rest. A lot has happened"

I nodded.

"Good night" She stood up and walked to the door, "I really am so sorry Lex"

"Me too"

She shut off the lights and now I was left with my thoughts. 

My scary, lonely, thoughts. 

What if someone is in the house? What do I do? Go down stairs my fragile self to check it out?

No one wants to marry a mom, at least not in LA. Why am I even moving here? Oh wait. Cuz he's living there. What will happen next time I see him? I think Ill just cry, and cry and cry, I mean what else is there to do? He wanted to marry me! Which means a lifetime together. And then he yells at me saying I basically dont love him, and then he tells me he kisses my best friend, and then I find out he has a kid! A kid!  A dog with her? Okay what ever, but a kid! Oh shit. Hazel. Well Kian will take care of her for now.  Suddenly the realization of me being alone hits. 

Im single, engaged from one day, to not. 

My chest feels heavy almost as if someones sitting on it, and carrying a bowling ball. I can't breath and the room is spinning. I start gasping for air. 

"Mommy!" Teegan yells, " Mommy!" 

I want to stop and tell everything is going to be fine, but is it? Kian's gone! Gone. Gone.

"Mommy please" Teegan starts crying. She runs out of the cabin and I try to get up but I immediately hit the floor. Everything is spinning so fast. Izzi and Teegan rush back in. 

"Lex whats wrong?"

I gasp for air, praying words come out. 

"You're having a panic attack just calm down. You're okay" She pulled me into her arms squeezing me so tight, I became more relaxed and felt like I could breath again. 

"Whats wrong babe?" She rested her chin on the top of my head. 

"He's gone" I cry silently. 

"Mommy are you okay?" Teegan wipes her tears. 

"I will be pumpkin. Im sorry to wake you, try to bed again okay? Ill be right there"

She nodded and climbed back in bed. 

"Kian?"

"Yeah"

"Im so sorry, I...I dont know what to say"

"Nether do I. When I was young my mom was drunk one time and she told me I was destined for disaster. And she was right. What am I doing? What have I done? Im alone, Teegan and Zander, what about them? I can't raise two toddlers on my own, I need to know that everything will be okay. But with the way things are going, How can they be"

"Faith. Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can't always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith. And lex everything is going to suck absolutely suck. but at some point things are going to get better, and wether you decide to realize it or not, is up to you"

I nodded. 

"I'll sleep in here tonight. Just so I know you're okay, and you know you're okay"

"Thanks"

"No problem" She smiled. 

I got in bed with Teegan and Zander, and she got in the remaining bed. 

"Night" She whispered turning off the lights.

"Night" 

Its simply a night because there was no good. 

--

woah. Ik. I hate me too.