How About No

parents pt. 2

there's gonna be times when parents will ground you, drive you insane, take care of you, love you, drive you insane again, sit you down and have the talk about the thing with you, and basically they're going to guide you through your life.

but what actually happens, when you're old enough to go to college?

what happens when the time finally comes, and you're supposed to decide what you're going to do with your life in the future?

the thing is, parents being parents, will try to stay in your life forever, and well, they'll keep guiding you regardless the situation.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, can be a real pain in the buttocks.

of course, every parent would want their child to become successful in life, right? they want their child to become a doctor, a dentist or a surgeon, and i understand that. i do, because we live in a world where getting a job might be the biggest problem along with corruption lurking behind every corner. 

but now that i'm legal, and ready to become an adult (i seriously don't want to but i have to, someone save meh), it was time for me to decide what kind of a job i would want in the future. believe it or not, my parents weren't thrilled about the decision i've made.

''mom i want to be a psychiatrist''

''how about becoming a doctor?''

''my grades arent that good mom. can i try for a speech pathologist''

''how about a dentist''

''i don't know, i was thinking about being a social worker and maybe-''

''a doctor?''

''but''

''a doctor''

''but mom''

''doctor''

''what if i don't wanna be a doctor???''

''fine then you can be a surgeon.''

._.

do you understand my problem now?? i know that my parents want the best for me and that they're trying to guide me and stuff, but telling me to be something i don't want to (nor do i have the brain for that) is wrong and discouraging. it's like as if they're trying to fulfill their dreams through me. it stresses me out way more than it should and it only makes the whole situation even worse. i mean, i don't even know what i want with my life, how could they possibly know it?

what each parent should do is try to understand what their kids want. 

i'm not talking about the situation where the kid wants to be a drug dealer or a president (like kanye west) 

i'm talking about what's important for the kids, and what their abilities are. of course you cannot become a chemist if your chemistry grade is barely E, you can't be a cook if you have no clue how to make scrambled eggs, you can't be an artist if you don't have imagination and the talent needed, but of course, my parents don't understand that. they tell me that i'm being negative, that i'm giving up too easily when in reality, i'm just being real.

mom, dad, i'm sorry i was born stupid  

honestly, it all makes me feel as if i'm not good and smart enough. you know?

i do want to have a good job, good salary, and a good life for sure, but i can't be a doctor when i'm not good at it and i don't see myself as a doctor. i would probably screw up 99% of the procedures or give people the wrong medicines and be like ''i'm 300% done with this shit go look for another doctor cause this one ain't gonna do any of this crap''

i don't know if this happened to any of you but i just wish my parents could see the problem, instead of telling me that i'm being negative about everything. the arguments did cool down for a little bit but i still have that feeling of insecurity and i still don't know what i'm gonna do with my life.

damn, if only i could turn back time to where i was a kid waiting to get the letter from hogwarts.

i would be a damn good wizard.

*sobs*