Why

Chapter 1

I sat there just staring and wondering. Just looking up at the plain white ceiling suddenly I see blood slowly seep from the cracks in my walls I reach out towards it hoping its just a prank..... it wasn't. I leave my room and walk up the creaking stairs. I go to open the door the the upstairs room and a blood cur-telling scream calls out behind the door. I back away slowly not wanting to go in but I do anyway, the door slowly creaks open with every step as I inch forward. I scream when I see what had happened. The body of my mother lays bleeding from every limb in her body. I feel something cool run across my throat and watch as my life slowly slips away.

I quickly sat up in my bed. It was just a dream... it was just a dream...it was just a dream. I looked over at the clock 12:00 am. Sighing I layed back down on my comfy bed. I just sat there staring and wondering.Staring up at the plain white ceiling. I look over to the clock again its now way past midnight... have I been really staring at my ceiling for forty minutes, and I have school tommarow just peachy.

All I can think of is him. My best friend. Nathan and how I fell for him. We have been friends for a long time but I know he dosn't feel the same. He already told me he likes someone else. Everyone hates him and says he's a player. That little thing caused us to fight. He says he forgives me, but I'm worried he cut because of me. Because I screwed up, I believed the rumors. I cut over the same fight. Just over me screwing up. I always screw up. I can only hold on to the hope that everything will turn out ok. Over and over in my head is I hope he's ok. I don't know if he is or not.I said we shouldn't talk for a while. Mainly because I think we should get our stuff together first then we can see what happens next.

After the fight I started thinking about lables. Why people lable. How we can stop it. That and I have been really sad lately. I'm starting to not feel and it scares me. I look at pictures of my ex and his girlfriend, and feel nothing no pain like usual. It barley hurts knowing i'm losing Nathan. Still I go by my all time favorite quote "live every moment like its your last because you never know which it will be , because in the end you only regret the chances you didn't take."

~Morning~

I fell asleep sometime last night. I woke up to realize that I lost him. I really lost him. This morning I got a text saying "stay strong good bye." It was pretty obvious. I don't know why I ended up losing him. I screw up so much. It actually makes me sad, it feels so natural. I have to see Nathan but it kills me that he's with someone else happy. I'm friends with his friends and i got a text from his friend Hunter right after that. A picture. Not just any picture... a picture of their conversation.

NATH💩: She's ruining my life when I love Carla.

Those few words are what killed me, and Carla of all people she's always bullied me. But she's pretty, thin, smart and always wears the most revealing clothes, so no wonder he likes her better. I wouldn't blame him. I'm dirt compared to her. My phone dinged with another text. This time from my ex.

💀LUKAS: I miss you.

I scoffed at the screen, miss me, as if he's the one that cheated not me. I didn't ask him to do that. I don't even know why I still have his number. So I deleted it.My phone dinged again it was Nathan.

BOO 😝NATH❤️: Hi

He cannot act like nothing is wrong he lost that privilage. I went in to my contacts and changed his name to DOUCHEBAG🚫💩. Then I decided to get ready for school. I went to my small closet and picked out a black t-shirt that said Janoskians across the front and had all the songs on the back, some blue skinny jeans, my favorite leather hitops and leather jacket. For the make up and jewelry I went very light. Looking around i grabbed a black NIRVANA beanie and put it on. Now I just have to get to school.

^^^outfit and other at top
Beginning of page up to life fade away by khloee ward
The song is Best Friends by the Janoskians