Road to Myself

*~three~*

Tapping my fingers agaisnt the dining table, I stared at my plate. Cleaned of all the cooked meat and vegetables that were once there. My thoughts drew back to the diary. How bad I really wanted to read that diary.

I glanced over at mother and father. They were both eating peacefully. I sat there, waiting for the perfect time to be politely dismissed from the table. Mother finsihed with her plate, and set her fork down on er plate. I quickly sat up from my seat.
Father looked over at me in confusion. "May I be dismissed?" I questioned. Mother settled her hands near her plate, and folded her hands together. "You may be dismissed Merlinda,"

Joyfully, I skipped into the kitchen to put my plate in the sink, and flew up the stairs to my bedroom. Shutting the door, tension few within me. I took the diary out of my shirt. Shifting over to my bed, I flipped open the diary once again.
I took a seat on the edge of the covers, and started from the very beginning.

"Although now and then I still question, I earase the photos and memories from my brain, and decrease the fact that she is still missing out there,"

Bringing my eyebrows together, confused, I flip the page and read on.

"Not only has my wife been worried about such things, but we worry that Merlinda will find out one day, that she has another name out there,"

"What is he talking about?" I asked myself. I kept flipping through the pages, when something suddenly caught my eye. I squinted.

"Given another name, she is as happy as can be. We will live happy forever and have her as our own child. But for now, she is prohibited to go out there, where they will certainly look for her to take her back. She must not communicate with others from out there, and must not be recalled Imia ever again,"

I dropped the book, and let it make contact with the floor. What? What? Who's he talking about? Is it...me? My heart rate increases and blood rushes to my face. Creating an extreme blush to form on my face. That's not true, fathers not talking about me!
Now regretting what I recently read, I try and forget about it, but it kept returning. My hand picked the book off the floor and set it under my pillow. My hands shook, doing so in the process. I shook my head in disagreement.

No, it's not me....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

   My eyes seemed to be glued to the ceiling as I stared at it, tucked in the warm covers of my bed. I held on tight to the hem of the blanket. My mind would go back to the quotes in the diary.
     I pulled my head under my yellow covers. It couldn't be possible! I read my alarm clock that rested on top of my nightstand. 11:49, it read. My heart pounded in frustration of not being able to fall asleep. Tomorrow, I have classes with father down in the basement.

     Turning and tossing, frustration kept growing as each second passed by.        
      "Ugh!" Groaning, I tried other positions, but seemed to fail. My teeth came together to grit, and I shook the bed lightly.

    "Agh!!" I groaned loudly in exasperation, pounding my fists onto the bed, and my body movements rocked it a little. Air came out as a big sigh through my teeth, as I calmed myself. I can't sleep....
     "Merlinda, go to bed!" I heard mother scold from across the hall.
"Yes mother!" I answered while comforting myself.

   My ears soaked in the sounds of crickets from outside, and the sound of leaves swishing through the air. Wandering off in thought, light bled through my curtains. In all honesty, never have I peeked at the outside world whenever it had reached night.
     My legs were practically screaming at me to get up and take a look. But my lazy self kept laid in bed, and shook the thought off. Mother used to tell me that, if I opened the curtain ms at night, the bogey man will come and get us.

     As silly as it may sound, I still believe in the bogey man. But the white translucent light that crept through the crack of the fabric, had me thinking. What is it really like outside at night?
     Quietly, I tiptoed over to the window. Mothers words rang inside my head like a buzzer, after each step I took closer to the window. Then, my hand landed on the curtains, and I peeked outside.

   Dark, I thought. I saw nothing but empty space in my back yard, and then the small forest that surrounded the house. Of course, I saw nothing beyond that, but I would like to one day. Everything seemed depressing yet beautiful at night.
     I was ready to close the curtains, when suddenly, I saw a white shaped figure. High up in the dark blue sky. My mouth opened wide in awe. It sparkled, and it reflected over the land with its beautiful silver color.

    It hung high up in the sky like the sun did in the day. Could it be another sun? Oh! Maybe it's the sun of the night! I kept studying the sun of the night, as I spotted other little speckles surrounding its presence.
      Like the sun of the night, they gave off a silver color, but didn't reflect on the land, probably due to its size. They both shared equal amount of beauty.

     Maybe the sun of the night feels lonely, and has little sun's of the night come and join it. Never in my life, have I seen something so elegant, and well worth the peek. Resting my chin in both my hands that were on the window sill, I felt my eyelids grow heavier.
     The heavier they got, the more I felt it was unstoppable to open them again. I felt my body get heavy as well. In a matter of seconds, my body hit the floor, and fell into a deep slumber.