Road to Myself

*~Four~*

Beneath my eyelids, I could see the faint light that was creeping in from my curtains. Slowly, my eyes opened, and were blinded by the bright and cheerful sunlight. The tips of my mouth curved into a gentle smile.
I realized that my body was thrown on the carpeted floor. My eyes widened as I noticed the curtains were slightly opened. Mother will punish me for this. I lifted myself up and closed them carefully. I breathed out a sigh, and walked over to my bed to take a seat.

Mother doesn't like the idea of my eyes catching a glimpse of the dark. "The dark is a sanctuary of evil," she'd repeat again and again whenever I would bring the subject up. last night, I found absolutely nothing evil about the dark.
Rather than evil, it had beauty in it. Never had my eyes layed on such a marvelous art piece. Mother surely wouldn't understand, even if I were to give her all the evidence in the world.

I prepared my bed, and placed my pillows in their place. Not bothered to slip on slippers or shoes, I trotted down the stairwell to the kitchen.
My nose was greeted by the fresh scent of the on cooking bacon and eggs. Father was seated in the dining room, engrossed in his daily newspaper.
"Good morning dear," he greeted without shooting an eye at me. "Good morning father,"I greeted him as well.

Mother walked in with two plates on hand. On top, rested two fully cooked scrambled eggs, with two pieces of crisp and juicy bacon. "Breakfast, is served," mother said with a joyful smile.
I took a seat, and was ready to enjoy a full meal. Once mother served herself breakfast, we all joined each other, and ate. It was silent. Silent to the point where I almost felt uncomfortable.

I tought of a subject to talk about with my parents, but in the matter of two seconds, my tongue slipped. So I spilled what I shouldn't have. "Have you ever seen the sun of the night?" I asked both mother and father.
       Overjoyed that they would somewhat agree with me, they held onto the silence. Father was one to speak up first. "The sun of the night?" He asked easing an eyebrow at me.
 
       "Yes! It's kind of like the sun in the day, but it comes out at night. Not to mention it gives off a bright white color," I explained. Figuring I spilled to much, my heart pounded. "And exactly how did you see the sun of the night, Merlinda?" Questioned mother, setting her silverware beside her plate.
     Both kept their gaze focused on me. My cheeks reddened as I didn't want to get in any trouble for confessing that I took a peek at the night before I went to bed.
      "I just heard a girl chatting about it with her mother when we went to the market yesterday," looking down, I lied. Though I did feel regretful, my heart slowed its pace as I felt relieved at my excuse, that mother would certainly take into consideration.

     "Is that so?" Mother chuckled, as if doubting my excuse. "Can it be that, maybe, oh I don't know, you looked at the night?" It suddenly became harder to swallow, my stomach felt like it was tied in a knot.
      "Wrong, I've just....heard of it," I claimed as I took another spoonful of eggs. I chewed slowly as my nervousness grew, averting my eyes from my parents. Getting up, and placing the now smothered plate in the sink, my heart pounded against my chest. Awkward tension grew by the second, as my parent's voices disappeared into the silence. As quiet as it got, my foot steps were able to be heard as I scooted to the stairs. 

      "She's going crazy..." I heard my father say. A tint of red spread across my cheek bones. "Yeah well, I think something fishy is going on Robert," Time seems to freeze around me. Robert? I question inside my head. Who's that? That definitely can't be father. I crouch by the railing on the third step on the stairwell. Eavesdropping was my specialty. I guess. "Sometimes I wonder what she sees or even thinks," mother whispers to father. their voices transfer from a medium tone, to hushed voices. Like they don't want me to hear something. 

    "What if she's already seen it?" asks mother. "See what dear?" replied father. 

      "You know, the night"

     "No, stop, we've forbidden her to the outside world and communication with anyone" 

      My mind suddenly trails back to the words in the diary. She is prohibited to go out there, where they will certainly look for her to take her back. She must not communicate with others from out there. Eyes widening and struggling to hold back tears, I kept listening. "No dear, I mean what if she's seen it already?" mother spits out in a frustrated whisper. "Look, we have to stay calm, and we must never, I repeat, NEVER, speak of this in front of Imia," 

     I jolted a bit at hearing him say that name. Father clears his throat and tries again. "Sorry, I mean, Merlinda," Something hurt, deep down inside me. Like something has come to stab me in the back with something unbelievably sharp. The barrier between the incoming tears and the supporting wall, was very thin. With my stomach churning, and puke racing up my throat, I ran up the stairs in the quietest way possible. 

      My instincts told me something was not right, that something was being mislead about something. I cleared my mind of my parents discussion. Something was for sure. I'm going to scan through the diary once more to answer the questions that lies in my head. Trying to push the recent conversation aside, I realized it was just a simple sentence. Yet, something inside my gut was pushing me to the edge. It's okay, i'll just forget it. 

   

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After my parent's conversation in the dining room, not once did I escape my room. My mind kept reassuring about reading the diary again. Never had I been so bothered by something so little. It made me feel left out in something, like I was the stupid one for not knowing. Frowning, I heard the low toned voices of my parents. What is it this time?    "She hasn't come out since breakfast," said mother in a worried state. I suddenly felt bad for making her worry, but I just wasn't fully prepared to meet face to face with them until I figure out what I want to figure out. 

     Mother and father tried talking to me this whole day through the door. They'd ask me what was wrong, or if I was hungry, and to open to the door. I would refuse to answer their questions, just as they did to me before, or ignore them. 

    If they yelled, I would simply say, "nothing is wrong", or "I'm not hungry".   "I think we should just leave her dear," said father. Soon enough, they left the perimeter of the door from the outside, and left my ears to take in silence. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

     It reached nine o'clock at night, and it was time to reread the diary. I took it out from under my pillow, and reached for the string that hung inside the lamp on my nightstand. I turned the lamp on, and flipped to page one. 

        "Never has success felt so good. It never thought this would go as planned. One is enough, and all we need. Even though we were very good and acquainted friends with Josie and Kerref, their child was our thankful wish from god. No one will take her away from us." 

     These few sentences were enough to make me wonder, what in the hell they were taking about. 

"Imia, sweet, beautiful Imia. Her name has gone through a huge transformation. now changed to, Merlinda"

        Something jolts inside me, and the habit of breathing suddenly becomes harder. Oh my god, oh my god. No! No, no, no..... My heart rate increases, and so does my breathing. My chest heaves up and down. I muster the courage to flip to a random page in the diary, and a pile of words catch my eye. So I read them. 

       "She's not our daughter by blood, and we respect that.  But now she is, even though we know stealing things that aren't ours is a sin, kidnapping her was the only way to bring her closer to us,"

My world shuts down. I feel my whole body go hollow, and tears brew within my eyes, but do not spill. I am not their daughter, these are not my parents. Mother and Father are not my parents, these people..... are strangers. My hands shake and drop the diary. 

     I.... have been kidnapped.