Road to Myself

*~Five~*

          The next morning, my skin feels roughly dry. My mouth feels like its moisture was sucked by a vacuum, the one mother uses to clean the living room carpet. Sun light creeps through the curtains like it always does every morning. Sighing, I hear mother's footsteps thumping against the hardwood floor. Her footsteps seem to be nearing my door.

     I pulled my head under the covers, and attempted to sink deeply into a blank dream space. But it failed. Fourteen years of being lied to. A feeling of betrayal enters my heart, and its hard to take it off my chest. Never has it crossed my mind that I would have been kidnapped or abducted...no. Then I wasn't kidnapped, I was abducted! My mind wandered off into thinking about the people out there. In the real world.

     Not the small world i've been cramped into. Not the small forest that is located behind my house, that I can't even cross the creek that cuts right through it. Not the small market that is less than one block away, that mother took me to, it isn't even surrounded by people or houses. This is not the real world. This is a cage, for insanity. I am a fourteen year old girl, who has been abducted, raised as a child, and lied to.

     Placing my fingertips to my mouth to lightly chew on my nails, questions once again swirl inside my mind. Who is looking for me? Are people even still looking for me?  Nearly falling over my bed, mother knocks on my door, softly. "Merlinda honey, come get breakfast," she says. Refusing, I stiffen without letting out a single peep. "Merlinda? Honey you need to eat,"

     "I don't want to!" I shout lowly. Without a response, I hear her footsteps fade away. Guilt builds in me, and slipping out of my bed, I take a deep, steady breath. Just act like you know nothing, absolutely nothing. Walking out, I look both ways to avoid physical contact with either of them. My plan was just to get a couple of cookies or a pop tart to munch on. trotting down the stairs, I silently hum a tune that has stuck to me to restrain myself from getting even more nervous.

     I arrive at the kitchen, I grab my pop tart, and was about to walk out, until father popped up in front of me. "Merlinda, you finally decided to join a meal with us since yesterday," he cheers. Mentally rolling my eyes, I step to the side to get passed him. "Wait, where do you think you're going?" He halted me.

    "To my room," I answer boldly. "No you aren't, you're eating with us,". He placed his oversized hands on my shoulders to guide me to the dining table. Annoyed, I pushed them away roughly, and stepped passed him. Assuming he grew furious with my actions, he clutched my wrist and dragged me to the dining table. "No, stop!" I squealed. I struggled, but didn't escaped, so I had no other choice but to join them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     Fork agasint plate, glass cups agaisnt the table. The dining room was filled with clinging here and clanging there. Just five minutes into the meal and my ears were already starting to bleed.
       Keeping my thoughts to myself, I studied my plate to avoid eye contact with both of them. Mother and father seemed to keep a close eye on me as the whole meal was kept silent the whole time.
     
      The train of negative thoughts passed through my mind, blowing it's whistle, making me shudder. I seriously don't want to be here anymore. My plate was half eaten, I left it at that as I put my fork down and got up from my chair.
       "Where are you going?" Asked mother. "My room" I responded. "You can't just leave your plate here, unfinished," said father. I was nearly going to take a step onto the stairwell, until I stopped myself.
        I walked back to the dining table, grasped my plate, and slid it across the table, scratching the wooden surface. The plate crashed with the floor, and pieces of glass and food flew around the area.

     Mother and father were shocked as both of them shot up from their seats right after I did so.
     "Merlinda!" Shouted mother. Scrunching my brows together from the anger, my tolerance to keep my thoughts to myself were unbearable. My mouth ached from keeping it shut, my bones burned from the tension. I could no longer take it.

       "Shut up!" I yelled at them. "Shut...UP!" Both grew furious at me, I could tell by the exact expressions. "You LIARS! You dirty dirty dirty liars! I can't believe I've been stuck my whole life living with you two fuckers!"
     That drew the line with father as he came closer to me with his hands. He was going to slap me. His hand was in mid air, about to slide across my skin, until I dodged his aim.
       "Don't, touch me!" I growled. "Don't, touch me! You have no right to touch me!"
         "Merlinda, what in the name of hell is wrong? Why are you so angry with us?" He shot back, one of his forehead veins almost noticeably popping out.
         "Don't be stupid! I know your little secret! I read it all in your little diary! I'm not one to mess with!"
      Mother joined in the barking agrument. "Merlinda, what are you talking about?" That was it, they were acting like them abducting me is a fairly tail hidden in a kids book. Like it never, happened.
       My face grew red, my hands and body started to tremble, and finally, I spit it out. "IM NOT YOUR CHILD!"

       Suddenly, the air grew thin, and the room was filled with a tremendously heavy silence. Father backed away from me, trying to get closer to mother, and mother stood in place, shocked.
      "H-how do you know that?" Father asked, placing his hand on his lips while they shook.
        Their sincerity meant nothing to me in the time, so I kept yelling no matter how calm they were.
      "I READ YOUR DIARY!" Blurting it out, my chest felt lighter and my brain felt flushed out. Mother put her left hand to her mouth, covering it, as tears welled up in her eyes, and for the first time, feeling bad was not an option for me.
        Father faced mother as mother uncontrollably sniffles and cried ever so quietly. As this took place, I ran up the stairs to my room, and Locked it as soon as I shut the door. I searched my closet for my worn out back pack, and clothes.
      By the time I was finished packing, my backpack contained a fresh pair of socks, a thin sweater, a pack of chewing gum, a small flashlight, and my allowance, which was seventeen dollars and eighty eight cents.

      It wasn't close to being all the way full, but I coped with that being my traveling tool. I dressed in comfortable yet warm clothes for the unpredictable weather from the outside world, which I had not made contact with yet, but I will soon learn and know what it feels like to stand in the rain, or feel a windy breeze.
         My body made its way to the covered window in my bedroom, and I opened the curtains, revealing a beautiful trail of sunlight in my room. I opened my window and the screen.
       Before I made action of jumping out the window, I took a good look at my room. The room where I had slept in for years, the room that I had grown in for most of my life.
       The room where I had learned that, I do not belong in the room, or the very house itself. Because I am someone else's child.

     Tears made a sticky mess on my cheeks, as all those memorable times had crawled back into my brain. Those sweet moments that were filled with the poison of reality. Only now had I realized that something that is so sweet is pleasurable, until you get to the sour part. Only then is it unbearable.
       Looking back out the window, I took no second chances at studying my room. So, I jumped out of the window. My body hit the grass in the back yard, but I did not stop to groan and Moan about the pain that I was feeling from the fall.
       Standing up, my body jolted itself and I began to run. I ran towards the small creek, without looking back. My heart pounding in my chest, and my body feeling light. This is it. I'm free. Those were not my parents, those were criminals.
             I, am Merlinda. Fourteen years old, abducted from two people who were my so called parents. And now...

                            I'm free.