Business Prince

Regret Appears

I walked home oblivious to my surroundings, I had a knack for tuning everything around me out. The events that just occurred replayed in my head a thousand times. I was too defensive, Kuro was just doing his job, he shouldn't stop just because of me.

Did my father really raise such a selfish child? People look at me, who do they see? Do they see the same kindness and warmth they saw in my father. Or do they see something else, like the sour, coldness of my mother. I hated to think about it but I was in no way like my father, and if I don't take after him then who-

An image of my cold, yet gorgeous mother, appeared in my head. The memory of her taunted my every move and word, I couldn't be myself without fearing to do something that even slightly resembles what she would have done.

You know that voice in your head, the one that scolds you for everything you do, the one that analyzes ever little thing in your head and throws it in your face? It judges you, and tells you that everyone else is judging you too. It makes you want to hide from everyone but you can't hide from that voice because it's you. And if you run from people and avoid the circumstances that would allow you to do something stupid, it will just bring up that thing you did 5 years ago.

Who is that voice for you? For me its my mother, mocking me every time I slip up, and it only makes me hate her. I feel birth was a curse, the mother I was born to is a curse, and the life I now live is a curse. I could never live in peace, and that's not just at the fault of others, it's at the fault of my weak mind. Too weak to push out the voice that haunts me night and day, even when I'm sleeping. I want peace. But by now I've accepted the peace I desperately want, is out of my grasp.

A clicking noise ran through my years waking me up from my thoughts. I pulled my key out of the door knob and placed my hand on the door handle, I was frozen, my hand wouldn't move, I was stuck.

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"Hama-chan..."

I gulped as shivers went down my spine, I do NOT want to deal with her right now, how the hell does she even know where I live. Grabbing my right hands wrist with my left hand I squeezed my eyes shut hoping she would go away.

"I'm not leaving!"Hanako warned me in a unusually stern voice.

The feeling of Hanako's stare caused me to stern around quickly to look her back straight in her eyes. Finally I was no longer frozen, I moved the fingers of my hand around making sure I could move properly. My eyes were locked with Hanako's and she gave no sign of giving up. How was I going to wiggle my way out of this one?

Run!

My body spun around and I ran into my house slamming the door shut as quickly as possible.

"Damnit Aiko! I'm came to talk to you not get a door slammed in my face!" Hanako yelled banging on my door.

My hands hugged my ears trying to drown out the sound of Hanako's violent protesting. "Go away!"

For one hopeful, moment Hanako stopped assaulting my door, but the silence only made the situation I was in worse.

"I'm trying to be a good friend!" Hanako argued her voice lowering.

"You call stalking me "being a good friend", you call forcing me to do things I don't want to do "being a good friend", you call forcing yourself into my life "being a good friend!" I screamed. "You people are so idiotic! You think your wanted when your obviously not! You try so hard to get people to like you just for your huge ego! I don't like you, Hanako! I don't want to be your friend! So leave me alone!"

There was another moment of silence but Hanako finally responded with laughter. "HA! Never hapPENING!"

"G-go away!" I yelled.

"No way! I will never stop bothering you Aiko! I will never stop showing up at your house! I don't care if your annoyed... I wont leave you Alone!" Hanako shouted back.

"Why!? Whats so special about me?? Your pretty Hanako, I'm sure tons of people want to be your friend, so why me??? Why are you so dead set on me?" I asked lowering my voice.

"You like my brother don't you!?" Hanako yelled back.

"W-what does that have to do with anything?" I whispered hoping she wouldn't hear.

"So you do!?"

"NO! I just meant him! How could i like someone i barely know?" I retorted.

"Because love is blind."

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Before Hanako left she convinced me to add her on my phone if i ever wanted to talk, though i highly doubt i would. She spouts such nonsense... I can never really tell what shes thinking. All that stuff about her brother... Even if i did like him I highly doubt he would ever feel the same way. He's a tall, mature man, with a gentle touch, just like my father. And just like my father.. He protected me...

My knees squished up against the pillow in between my chest and thighs , as i wrapped my arms around them pulling them closer, burying my face in my pillow.

The faint memory of a tall figure, gently wrapping his arms around me, and reassuring me I was okay. My heart was beating so fast, I was scared a little, but I had decided to trust the figure. I don't know why. But the protective and comforting aura he gave off relaxed me. And for a second I thought I saw my father. The man who was always there for me and always, no matter what, protected me.

The warm fuzzy feeling i got from Kuro appeared again. He was so warm, yet cool but only for a second. The cool feeling of his glasses against my head lasted a bit longer.

Remembering his glasses I reached up and fiddled with mine.

When your in love with someone how do you know?

When I think about Kuro.. I feel warm and comfortable, its like he's a fire, something that comforts an helps me but what can i do for it? Except put it out...

I had snapped at Kuro even though he did nothing wrong. In an attempt to defend my fathers memory I hurt someone innocent. Someone that had done nothing but try to help me.

I grabbed my chest, my heart ached. Is it because of what I did? Why did my heart heart so profusely?

Mother...

I cant believe I want your guidance, but there were so many men you had in your life. Do you know what love feels like? If love feels like my heart aching I don't want it. But do I have a choice?

Love is happiness

Love is pain

Love is blind