take your time

I'm michael and I don't know

I don't remember much of what happened when I arrived at the mall, I remember Liz telling me about her and Calum, something about her going on a date with him the following Friday. I remember feeling a flicker of envy, but also happiness for my new friend. I think went to some boutique and I bought a dress or two and Liz bought a pair of jeans and a blouse.

I think I got a cinnamon pretzel from some place in the food court, I remember Liz showing me around, she talked as we walked. I learned a lot about her, she seemed very kind, trustworthy and just great. She would soon become my best friend, and eventually my band mate. It's crazy thinking about how this all began, It's worse thinking about how it ended, or is it ends? Is it even over? I don't know. Anyways there was a party that night, I had gone to Liz'z house after we were done shopping because the walk was closer than mine and she said she could drive us to Ashton's house when we were ready.

It's hard writing about this, the good parts, because I know what's going to happen. I'm building up to happiness that will only break down. I feel like this story is misleading. I want to get to the parts I think about every day, the moments that keep me up at night. So I have to write this, I just have to.

The drive to the party was rather ordinary, I think the whole drive Liz was talking up Michael and Calum told me that he was excited to meet me. It's weird hearing so much over just one boy, I know my hopes were very high and worried that so were Michael's and I would end up disappointing him. I keep letting myself fall into this memory and then I remember this isn't going on in this moment, as I lay in my bed while my bandmates are doing interviews that I somehow got out of. I'm just going to go with it, let myself fall into the past.

the past:

"What exactly goes on at ashton's parties?" I finally say when calum pauses in the middle of his rant about how michael is really good at video games but he thinks he isn't good because he plays with pros and calum said oh well if you're playing with pros, doesn't that make you a pro?

"I dunno, we just party." Liz answers me

"Okay but is it like oh let's have deep conversations or is it like oh look at that a girl is vomitting."

"Both." calum says causing liz to laugh

"yeah ha." I say dying a little inside

"We're here." Liz parks directly in front of the house which was strange. I mean the party had started about twenty minutes ago and there were lots of cars parked all around the house but I guess this was liz's spot or something.

"There's a vip area upstairs which is where only the coolest people are allowed to be, who are handpicked by ashton. You'll have to see if you're on the list. "

"Okay and when do these parties usually end?" I say taking notes in my head.

"They don't." Calum says as we begin to walk to the front door.

"They go until about seven am, then Ashton kicks everyone out and cleans up." Liz adds

"He cleans up all by himself?" that's a lot of work for one person.

"If michael's awake, he'll help, me and liz sometimes. Bryana always helps, she likes spending anytime she can with ashton." I nod understanding that since she's gone so much she must cherish the time they do have together.

"What about luke? Does he ever help?" I say quickly as we're almost at the door and the music is only getting louder.

"Luke usually leaves early because his mom would be pissed if he got home that late. Sometimes he stays over for the night if his mother says it's okay." I giggle quietly at the momma's boy