In the blink of an eye

Chapter 3: Reality

Jade's POV:

For the last couple of days,I've literally been on the edge of breaking down.All this waiting just kills me and what makes it even worse is that I can't tell anyone what's going on.Perrie and I never had any secrets,she is my everything and I just want to tell her my story but it's not that easy,I just can't blurt it out like it's nothing.
I know the doctor told me not to worry but you try that once you experienced what I did back when I was only sixteen.As much as I am scared for myself its not what worries me,this time it isn't about me.I'm not this single,sweet little 16 year old that lives with her Mum.Now I'm the Mum and I don't want my little daughter to see me this weak.I don't want to be the reason my band will fall apart and break the hearts of millions of fans and most of all I can't stand breaking Perrie's heart.Its not only about me this time,there is so much more to consider this time.

But for now there isn't much I can do.The doctor said he will call between the following three days, today its already the fifth and he still hasn't called.This one side of me really wants to call him and ask but then on the other side I know that from there on its not going back and as much as I know it could easily be nothing I don't know what I would do if the cancer's back.I guess the reason I haven't called yet is that I'm still holding on to that piece of hope.

Jonnie,Perrie's brother,is in London for the next two days so he and Perrie went to lunch while Maddie was at a friend's.My phone rang and I quickly answered thinking it would be the doctor.

,,Jade Thirlwall?"

,,Hey Jadey,Jesy here." Oh well,maybe I should've read the name first.But a part of me was relieved it was only her.

,,Hey,what is it?"

,,Just wanted to tell you that management scheduled dance training for friday and saturday and interviews for monday."

,,Oh alright,I'll tell Pez.See you then."

,,Great.Bye."

After the phone call I was just trying to relax because I've been so tense for the last four days waiting for that phone call,so I walked upstairs and run myself a bath.Just when I was about to get inside the tub, my phone rang again and it shows an unknown number,I immediately knew what that meant and gulped.

,,He-hello Jade Thirlwall here."

,,Hello Ms Thirlwall.I am Ms Turner,the nurse of Doctor Cruz.Your test results came back and he would like to talk to you about them.Are you available today?" Please no.We all know that a doctor doesn't ask you to come over if there isn't something wrong.

,, Ms Thirlwall are you still there?"

,,Uhm yes sorry.Today's fine.What time?"

,,Would three o'clock be alright with you?"

,,3 is fine.Thank you,bye." I hang up and slipped in the tubs.I noticed little tear drops falling down my cheeks and slowly closed my eyes.I wonder if this was the right time to call my Mum or even tell Perrie but I decide against it,it's still not time to give up,things could be alright or something else could be wrong it doesn't have to be cancer.It can't.

~At the doctor's~

I looked nervously at the table and started fibbling with my fingers,it's a bad habbit of mine.I don't do well with stress or nerves.Everytime I'm at a doctors office I regret not telling anyone,I wish I could have anyone here with me and I know if I would only ask them they would come but I guess it would also make things much more real and I don't want them to worry more than they have to.The door opened and Dr.Cruz entered and I slowly took a glance at him,he didn't look too happy but when do doctors anyway.Not with me thats for sure,so that shouldn't set me off.