She Said Goodbye

Oh

9:04 AM.
October 18, 2010.

The next morning I rolled out of bed, resistantly. I was hungry, but I was used to that. Ever since mama died I've been allowed 1 meal a day, and sometimes a bite or two of a snack, I can drink water all I want, but I've learned that he recently put a liquid into our water that I know I don't want to drink. Walking in the living room I see dad passed out, so I go about making his breakfast. Looking into the egg carton, the eggs are all broken. Empty eggshells left inside, by themselves. I smile a sad smile, "Is this what I look like to others?"

"I bet it is."

*

On my way to the store my hand flared up, usually I'd steal a few more dollars from dad to use for me because he doesn't go with me, but today even he only had enough for a carton of eggs and a 12 pack of beer. His requests. I take a deep breath and smile before walking inside the store, hearing the doorbell ring makes me cringe, thinking of the time dad locked me in my room for 6 days without water, but served food once every 2 days, he used a bell to initiate dinner time, and to initiate time for pleasures.
"Welcome back, baby doll" Jillian says while smiling and walking towards me. "It's been a while" she says, and gives me a hug, which I return. Jillian was my second mother at one point and God I still love her just like one. "Daddy still hard on ya?" She asks, looking sad. I just keep quiet. "Oh baby, you know I've done all that I can without his consent. "I'm sorry" she says, her eyes filling up, she was a sucker for emotions. "It's alright" I manage to croak, my eyes filling up as well. I wanted away from him, I wanted to live with Jillian, or Katie, her daughter, who had just graduated and moved out two months ago. I wanted anywhere but with him.