She Said Goodbye

New Memories

11:27 A.M.

October 18, 2010.

After getting home I figured dad would be up by now, but I guess I was wrong. He was still slumped out on the couch, beer bottle in hand, with his arm hanging off the side of the arm. I sighed and threw a blanket on him, tucking him in slightly, not wanting to touch him too much and wake him. It was times like these I loved being in the house technically alone. He'd be out for a little while. Getting to work on breakfast, I ended up dropping an egg and as I was cleaning it up I heard him grumble, "Where's my eggs?" and I sighed internally, "Right here" I said as a short answer. I heard him get up and I stood up, cleaning up the rest with a wet rag. "I don't see anything on this clean white plate." He said as he sat at the counter. I flipped the egg off the pan currently on the stove and put it on his plate, along with two pieces of bread and the butter beside it. I grabbed a glass cup from the cabinet closest to the fridge and poured him some orange juice, setting it beside his plate on a folded paper towel. Washing the pan I felt him start laughing softly, until I heard his laugh crack. Turning around I see he was crying, staring at the wall mothers picture was still hanging on, and I smiled weakly at the photo, it was all I had to go off of, since I don't remember her all that well anymore. I turned back to washing the pan, rinsed it, and put it in the strainer before walking off to my room.

*

The day was pretty laid back, dad mostly stayed on the couch crying while watching his usual show, Maury. He once told me it was mom's favorite show. I picked up the living room, my room, and had started on dad's room when he yelled for me to get dressed, shoes and all. I'm not out much, so I got a bit excited. I ran to my room, threw on my socks and shoes and walked out. He was already out in the car, in the passenger side, staring out the window. I sighed and got in the drivers side cautiously. I've never drove before, and I was nervous. He looked at me with his sad eyes, and smiled a small smile, and told me to put my seat belt on. Doing as I was told, he directed me on how to turn the car on and how to back out - slowly. then he showed me how the gear shifts work, and before I knew it we were on our way, him directing me to only god knows where. Until we ended up in front of a cemetery. Then it made sense. We were visiting mom's grave, and I'm not sure if I'm ready.