I never thought about my mum dying, I was so ignorant to the fact that death happens and it happens to everyone. Even my mum.
"Are you awake?" My dad said, as he peered around my door.
It's the day of the funeral. Dad's been so busy planning it that we've barely spoke. Actually, I've barely spoke to anybody. Not even Beau.
"Yeah" I mumbled back to him.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. All I saw was a pale, helpless and unrecognisable girl. I got into the shower and began getting ready for the funeral, as slowly as possible. The only black dress I owned was the one my mum made me get as "you never know when you'll need it", I bet she didn't think it would be for this. I sighed and slipped into the dress, then put on some black flats.
Dad was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, he gave me this kind of half smile as I walked towards him. The drive to the church was completely silent but so was everything nowadays.
"Lola" a voice whispered behind me as I stood and looked at the church, I turned around and it was my brothers, Oscar and Noah. I grabbed them both and burst into tears.
"You're never leaving us again, Lola" Noah said to me, as he kissed my forehead.
We began following Mum's casket into the church. Walking down the aisle, I could feel eyes of sympathy all around me.
Dad made an amazing speech about Mum. I could barely hold it together the whole way through, but he was so calm.
We made our way out of the church, following the casket to it's burial point. I looked down into the ditch where my mum was going to put and it suddenly felt real. I was never going to see her, hold her or talk to her ever again, she was just going to lay in a box in some ditch forever.
As the casket was being lowered, I felt a hand rest around my waist. It was Beau. This was the first time I've seen him since leaving the hopsital. He didn't have to say anything and neither did I. Just him being there made me feel at peace.
"She would be so proud of you" Beau said to me, as we walked away from the grave.
Walking out the gates of the churchyard I could see Luke, Jai and Gina stood waiting. Seeing them made me feel like I was part of another family and always had a safe place to turn to when things went wrong.
"We love you, sweetie" Gina softly spoke, as she held me in a gentle embrace.
"Thank you so much for coming, I've mi-missed you all so mu-much" I stuttered, trying to fight back the tears.
Later that night, I got a text from Beau.
Beau - i'm at the door. x
I leapt up from my bed, confused at why he was at the front door. I opened up my bedroom door and...
"BOO" Beau squealed, as he grabbed my hips and kissed my cheek.
"Never scare me like that again!!" I sternly hold him, trying to stop myself from smiling.
"Don't act like you didn't love it" He winked. "How are you doing?"
"I'm as good as I can be" I smiled back at him.
"But better now that I'm here right?" He cheekily asked.
I knew he was right but I'll never tell him that.
