I wrote this poem about an experiance I had back in 2010. Some people I am close to have been having a really tough time lately, for reasons related to mine. I just wanted to write this to let them know they are not alone. I have experianced it. It has been incredibly hard to not break down and cry with you today (May 28, 2013) at school. So, yeah. This is about my best friend Caroline, who committed suicide.
We were best friends.
We said it would never end.
We told each other everything,
But that was just the thing.
It was only fifth grade year,
When you stopped eating.
I didn’t notice.
I knew you were different,
But that was okay.
We are all different,
In our own special way.
Sixth grade rolled around,
We both went our separate ways.
I went here,
You went there.
Slowly bringing us apart.
Small conversations on the phone,
Occasional sleepovers.
Nothing more.
But what I didn’t notice were your scars.
I see them now,
In my head.
I remember wondering about them.
What had happened?
I asked once.
You said a car crash.
I would never ask again.
I thought we shared everything.
I was wrong.
December rolled around.
We talked less and less.
No more sleepovers.
I missed you.
One day, I called.
Christmas Eve.
I wanted to wish you a “Merry Christmas”.
You were crying.
Said you thought of dying.
I didn’t know why,
I knew you were always shy.
You said they hurt you.
They trashed you and bashed you.
You said life wasn’t worth living.
You wanted out.
I didn’t understand,
Why you said the world was horrible.
I’m sorry I didn’t know.
I could have helped.
Why hadn’t I seen it show?
Then,
I understood,
As you screamed in pain.
From me,
Not a word was said.
I just lay on my bed,
And listen to you struggle.
Then,
From you,
A single cold word.
With your last heap of strength.
Your last bit of air.
Goodbye.
