No One Really Understands

Finally.

"Can you at least try?"

Karkat pouted and looked away. He picked up a pencil from his desk and started fiddling with it. "Do I have to?" he mumbled.

"Yes," Dave said, his voice grainy and crackly over Karkat's computer's speakers. "Well, I mean you don't exactly have to, but I'm pretty sure if you miss anymore school they're gonna expel you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Karkat said with a small grin, gently pushing the point of the pencil a little ways under his nail.

Dave smirked himself and rolled his eyes. His face was pixelated by the shitty Wi-Fi at Karkat's house, but his crimson irises still shone like jewels. "Be serious."

Karkat smiled and drew his legs to his chest, curling his toes over the edge of the chair. He was quiet for a moment, thinking.

"What..." he asked softly after a minute. "What if John's there?"

Dave's face fell ever so slightly at the mention of John's name. "He won't be. He was only there three days last week and he came to school drunk on the third one and had to go home after someone told a teacher. I don't think he's gonna be there."

"But what if he is?" Karkat said anxiously, looking up at Dave.

"He..." Dave hesitated for a moment then sighed. "He might be. I'm not going to lie to you. John might show up, and he might see you and you might see him, and he might even try and talk to you. That could very well happen. But even if it doesn't--or even if it does--he shouldn't be the one thing keeping you from going. Ok? Because either way, you're gonna end up running into him again at some point. And when you do, you're not gonna be able to avoid it. You can't keep running away from this. You're gonna have to face your fears sometime."

Karkat looked down and was quiet for a moment, pushing the tip of the pencil against his palm and lightly tracing over the furrows and lines. "You sound like a motivational speaker," he said softly with a small smile.

He heard Dave chuckle. "I try my hardest." More seriously, he said, "But really, Karkat. I think you should try and go. At least one day. For me. After that you can go and cut as much class as you please until you're expelled and you turn to the life of crime, gangs and drugs that inevitably awaits every ninth-grade dropout."

Karkat smirked at Dave and shook his head. "You're fucking ridiculous. But... ok."

"Really?"

Karkat nodded. "Yeah. I don't want to," he said, narrowing his eyes at Dave, "But you keep telling me I have to so... I'll try and go tomorrow." He looked down at the ground and sighed softy. "Can't avoid it forever."

"Good. I'm proud of you. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is a really important part of trying to get back to normal."

Karkat nodded again, but kept his head down. "What if--" he started to say, but he hesitated and shut his mouth.

"What if what?"

Karkat shook his head. "It's... It's nothing."

"No, I want to know. What if what?"

Karkat stayed silent, staring at his feet.

"Hey. Look at me."

Karkat looked up to find Dave's face gentle and calm, with the slightest bit of concern. Dave smiled a little, the edges of his ruby eyes crinkling ever so slightly. "What if what?"

Karkat held his gaze for a moment, the feeling of tears tugging distantly at his chest. "What... What if... they just make fun of me again?" Karkat asked quietly. "I mean, they all already made fun of me for the cutting. Who knows if they'll leave this alone? And I can't..." He closed his eyes and took a soft breath. "I can't do that again. Not now."