Rebuilding

Unusual Pajamas, Usual Banter

“That’s it! I’m not doing it. I give up. To hell with this rubbish.” I closed out of the editing program and pushed away from the computer, clutching my head in my hands with ultimate frustration. I let out a rather loud yell in order to release my anger. After the screaming had ceased, I felt much better.

“Phil are you okay?!” Dan came rushing into my room, his usually tan face had now gone ghostly pale at the sound of me screaming.

“Physically, yes. Mentally, not in the slightest.” I sighed and flopped onto the bed face down, burying my face in my Totoro plush. “Just let me lay here, Dan.” Dan was clearly having none of that, as he immediately jumped onto my bed and sat next to me.

“Come on Phil, what’s wrong?”

Everything. The stupid video (that my Phillions were counting on) wasn’t going over well, I felt as if I would get sick at any moment due to the four drinks I had in the last hour and a half, and now that damn receipt in the wardrobe was haunting me.

“I just hate the editing process,” I sighed. “It sucks, and I suck, and my videos suck, and I just wanna lie here forever.” I proceeded to curl up into a little ball, partly for comfort, partly to keep myself from getting sick.

“Stop being a little baby.” Then Dan’s gaze fell on the four empty bottles on the desk. “Exactly how much have you been drinking, Phil?”

“Huh? Oh, no thanks, I don’t drink.”

 “Okay, I’m gonna get rid of these, and get you a cup of tea. You need it.”

“What I need is to stop sucking so much.”

“Ah, so you’re the whiny type of drunk tonight. Well, this should be fun. I’ll be back, with your tea. Don’t get up.”

“But what if I feel all pukey?”

“Then get to the bathroom.”

“But you just said not to get up!” I sat up and could feel my hair sticking up in all different places.

Dan put his palm to his face and sighed. “Just stay here bud, I’ll be back in five minutes. Try not to vomit, okay? Do we have a deal?”

“Deal.” Dan left my room, bottles in hand. I decided I would never drink again.

What seemed like moments later, I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock. “Twelve? AM? The hell..?” I sat up. I was under the blankets in my bed now, and my shirt was off. I pulled the blankets back and found that I was now in one of Dan’s ratty old pairs of sleeping pants. “What the..?” I got up and walked into the hallway. “Dan?”

“In here!” he called from the living room. I made my way into the lounge to see Dan sitting there, watching a Doctor Who rerun on television. “You’re up.”

“Uh, yeah. And half dressed.”

“You were drunk, so I took advantage of that glorious moment and fucked you silly.”

“Wait, what?” I could feel the blood drain from my face. I pulled my hand back and rested it on my bum. It didn’t feel sore.

 “Kidding!” Dan looked up at me. “You were drunk and threatening to puke. Figured you’d be upset if you got vomit on your new shirt and favorite jeans, so I gave you an old pair of mine.”

“Oh,” I blushed. “You changed me? In my drunken slumber?” I was still a little confused. The last thing I could remember was making some sort of deal with Dan.

“It’s not like I’ve never seen you in your underwear before, Phil. Chill out.” This is true. I took a seat next to Dan and turned my attention to the television. “I drank your tea, by the way. Didn’t want it to get cold.”

“What’s that? Oh, that’s fine.” I didn’t really care. All I could think about was the fact that I had actually passed out due to alcohol.  I’ve gotten drunk before, obviously, but I’ve never passed out from it. Maybe the stress had something to do with it. “You didn’t tweet or anything about this, did you?”

“Of course not. Though I should have. Can you imagine? Ah, that’d be great.”

“Oh yeah, buckets of fun.”

“Hey guys, Phil’s drunk and threatening to puke all over me. Help!” Dan said, pretending to tweet from his phone.

“Not funny, Dan.” I swatted at his hands.

“No, what’s not funny is the fact that you nearly vomited all over me.”

“Did not!”

“Did too!” Dan stuck his tongue out at me. And people labeled me the immature one?

“Put that tongue back in your mouth before I cut it off,” I joked. Dan restored his tongue to its natural place and returned his attention to his television show, which was now being interrupted by commercials.

I adjusted myself on the couch, only to have my spot disturbed by Dan getting up. “Well, I’m going to bed.” Dan ran a hand through his hair, his reach bringing his shirt up to expose his belly button and boxer shorts.

“Pull your trousers up, you hoodlum.”

“No thanks. Oh, and I wanted to run a few errands tomorrow, care to join me?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, “Where are we going?”

“I’m not sure yet. Just need to get out of the house, and I figured we have something that needs done around here.” That was Dan. Always ahead of the curve.

“Alright there, Mr. Prepared,” I teased.

“Well if you wanna come, I intend on leaving around one o’clock. Prepared enough for you, Mr. Vomit?” Dan teased back. This banter was not uncommon. “So don’t stay up too late.”

“But Dan, I’ve only just woken up!” I was wired now, and I had absolutely no clue how the hell I was getting back to sleep.

“I think we have some of that chamomile tea in the kitchen. Why don’t you give it a go? Or you could always have a few more drinks.” I tossed my pillow at Dan, who ducked just in time to allow the pillow to fly over his head and hit the wall with a dull thud.

“Shut up and go to bed already.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Dan pretended to salute before doing an about face and venturing into the dark hall. Moments later, I heard the door close. I sat there in the living room for a few more minutes, listening to one of those odd televangelist commercials that always seemed to come on around this time.  I grabbed the remote and turned the set off. 

“Peace be with you,” I said as the box went black. I walked into the kitchen and prepared myself a mug of tea. I passed Dan’s door on the way to my room and heard the slight sound of snoring. He was definitely out. I set the mug of tea on the nightstand and got under the covers, still wearing Dan’s pajama pants. There was no point in returning these now. I took a few sips of the tea and laid down, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. I wasn’t awake for much longer after that.