As Our Tragedies Atrophy

I. GENESIS

If there's one thing Dan's learned about Phil over the years, it was that he never needed to concern himself with writing lists. Imagine his surprise when he stepped into their kitchen one morning, and instead of finding him preparing breakfast for the two of them and humming to himself, because this was the domestic routine they've fallen into, Phil is hunched over on the kitchen counter, pen in hand as it moved along in a frantic scrawl on paper.

"Morning." Dan faked a yawn as he stepped into the kitchen, observing the way Phil rushed and crumpled the paper almost instantly to shove it behind him out of Dan's view.

This wasn't successful though, as when he looked up at Dan, the response died in his throat. Dan's gaze of scrutiny was sudden, but he knew that look.

"Dan, I-"

"You don't want to tell me what's wrong," He stated simply as he approached Phil. "If you did, you would've told me months ago what's been up with you. I've noticed. It's fine. Just... tell me when you're ready." He sighed and encircled his arms around Phil's waist, feeling the other frowning when he kissed him on the cheek.

"I know what you're doing," Phil accused. "Trying to make me feel guilty."

"I'm doing no such thing, Phil Lester," He chuckled, stepping back and swerving around him to pull open the fridge.

Silence fell upon them as Dan prepared their breakfast, and if Dan wasn't waiting for a retort, he would've missed the barely-there voice that countered.

"If I knew what was wrong, I'd tell you."

-

Unfortunately for Phil, the confusion only worsened in the months that followed. There was the time that he swore he lost his keys only to find them in the freezer of all places, or there was the time that he completely forgot about the holiday he planned with Martyn. There was the time he was trying to film a baking video with Dan and was secretly struggling with following the recipe directions, but there was also the time he forgot the name of one of his nephews when he visited Martyn, Cornelia, and the rest of their family.

But none of these instances could rival the one catalyst that changed everything. To his success, he was able to evade Dan's questioning and it seemed as if their encounter in the kitchen was the only clash they had about whatever this was. This relief, however, was not long lasting.

The Dan and Phil show on BBC Radio 1 was once again theirs for two hours on the first Sunday of every month. This had been their schedule since 2026, it worked perfectly alongside their YouTube careers that only exponentially grew over time, and by 2042 they were far past comfortable doing the radio show.

There was one particular show that wasn't as comfortable for Phil. Nearly two hours passed of things running smoothly just as they had always been, but Phil could feel his hands getting clammy again. A sense of dread swirled in the pit of his stomach. Blanking out and feeling his surroundings melt into nothingness had been typical at this point, but once he snapped back into focus, the prospect of playing the song they had planned completely slipped his mind.

His heart pounded as he stared at the camera, and he opened his mouth to speak but the words he were searching for were nowhere to be found. They were nearly done, he was doing so well.

"Anyway, here's our last song for tonight," Dan piped in. "Taking you guys on a blast to the past. Here is Yellow by Coldplay."

He waved goodbye and Phil could only muster a forced smile until they were off air. It was then that Dan ended up turning to Phil.

"Phil, what happened?" In the split moment his eyes locked with Dan, Phil knew it was over. His face burned bright red, he was sure of it, and he was stood still, not knowing how to react. He wouldn't be able to escape. Or at least, he couldn't escape mentally, but he sure as heck could physically.