Kahi Ankahi

Chapter 10

"mujhe pata hai ke tum yeh shaadi sirf maamu aur maami ki khushi ke liye kar rahi ho."

"Dekho main tumse pyaar nahi karta, aur main jaanta hoon ke tum bhi mujhse pyaar nahi karti."

"Wese bhi humein unse shaadi karni chahiye jinse hum pyaar karte hain."

These words kept echoing in my mind. I felt suffocated. I wanted to forget everything that happened but it didn't seem so easy. It felt like almost everything reminded me of him; like my existence reminded me of him. It's been three days since he left and I haven't even gone out of my room. Ammi brings food and water and often tells me to come out. I just don't feel like doing anything. All I want is to lay down on my bed and do nothing. Three days ago, I was so happy and now... now I'm on my bed with red, puffy eyes upset because of the same event I was supposed to be happy about. I got up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face. I looked at myself in the mirror. Kya haalat bana li hai apni? I thought. The more I saw myself, the harder I wanted to cry. I dried my face with the towel and walked back to my room. I sat on my bed. Mujhe aisa dekh ke ammi abbu ko bohat dukh horaha hoga. I thought. I stood up and walked outside my room. I descended the staircase and walked in the garden where ammi and abbu would most probably be. I walked towards the table and chairs that were placed in our garden. Ammi and abbu were seated there.

"Qirat, meri bacchi..." Ammi's face lit up with happiness as she saw me. Abbu looked over at me and he smiled.

"Assalam Alaikum, ammi abbu." I greeted them. They returned my greeting with 'Walaikum Assalam'. I smiled and sat down.

"Ammi, abbu... I'm sorry. Main jaanti hoon ke mere kamre mein band rehne se aap dono ko bohat takleef hui hai. Main aap dono ko bilkul bhi hurt nahi karna chahti." I spoke, holding both their hands. They smiled warmly.

"Humari jaan ab behtar feel kar rahi hai. That's all that matters to us." Abbu replied placing his hand on my cheek. I smiled.

"I feel much better now." I lied. I didn't want to hurt them.

We talked for sometime. As we heard the Maghrib azaan being heralded, we headed back inside and offered our namaz.

---

"Aaj maine meri shehzaadi ki favourite dish banayi hain." Ammi said, taking the lid off of the bowl of Nihari. I smiled at her.

"Yummy! Nihari!" I excitedly said.

We were in the middle of our dinner when abbu spoke.

"Beta..." He addressed me.

"Jee, abbu." I responded.

"Kal humare saath apni Phuppo ke ghar chalna." He said and I could feel my face go blank. He noticed that and continued to speak. "Beta, humne tumhe yeh bataya nahi magar uss din... tumhare Phuppa ko heart attack aaya tha." He said and my eyes widened.

"Heart attack?" I placed my hand over my mouth. "Par kyun? Kaise hain woh ab? Kal nahi, mujhe abhi jaana hai." I quickly said everything in one breath.

"Theek hai unki tabiyat ab. Bas tumse milna chah rahe thay." He said. "Khaana khatam karlo phir chalte hain." He added.

Heart attack? Achanak? Jaane ka toh keh diya.. par agar woh wahan ho toh kaise face karoongi? I thought. I don't care. I knew I was lying to myself.

Once we were done with our dinner, Abbu drove us to Phuppo's place. Minutes later, we were just outside Phuppo's place. Yes, I was nervous. We got out of the car and headed inside. We were were greeted by Masooma, their maid.