Kahi Ankahi

Chapter 14

Hussain's p.o.v.

I was out the whole night. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go and see abbu. I wanted to hug him and cry my heart out. I wanted to ask for forgiveness, to repent for my sins. I was sure that I, never in my entire life, had sinned but disobedience to parents is a major sin. I had sinned now. It was almost Fajr time now. I got back in my car and drove to a nearby Masjid. I took off my joggers and walked inside the Masjid. As always, a feeling of peace ran through me. I walked towards the ablution area and performed ablution. I then walked to the praying area. I offered my Fajr namaz. I asked for forgiveness from Allah and repented for my sin. I then read the Holy Quran. I was so into reading the Quran that I hadn't realised when the sun rose. I finished reading the paara I was on and then closed the Holy Book, kissed it and carefully placed it back on the shelf I'd picked it up from. I then got up, feeling somewhat better. I wouldn't be able to feel completely peaceful until Abba and Ammi hug me and forgive me. I walked out of the Masjid. Wearing my joggers, I left the place. I sat back in my car drove off. I reached the hotel at about 8 am.

'I need to go home.' I thought. 'I shouldve gone home a long while back. I shouldn't have left at the first place.' I regretted. I rested my head on the pillow and soon drifted off to sleep.

Shehryaar's p.o.v.

Woh aaj shaadi kar lega. Ammi abba ki duaon ke baghair woh aaj shaadi kar lega. Itna khudgarz kab se hogaya tu, Hussain? A stray tear escaped my eye. I felt sad for Qirat too. Uska khwaabon pe se bharosa utha ke, Hussain ne kisi aur ko wohi khwaab dekhne ka haq de diya. Magar phir bhi meri dua hai ke tu waapis aaja, Hussain. Meri dua hai ke tu aake abba, ammi aur Qirat se maafi maange.

"Shehryaar, Phuppo tumhe..." Qirat stopped in the middle of her sentence. Ayesha had come over so ammi decided to take Qirat, Iqra, Sara and her for shopping. I wiped my tears and turned to look at her.

"Shehryaar, tum ro rahe ho?" She panicked. "Kya hua?" She questioned.

"Kuch nahi. Main theek hoon." I faked a smile.

"I know the difference between your real smile and your fake smile, Shehryaar." She seriously stated.

"Tum log shopping ke liye late nahi horahe ho kya?" I tried sounding very casual but the look on her face didn't seem satisfied at all.

"Phuppo tumhe neeche bula rahi hain." Without forcing me further, she left the room with that. I nodded in reply.

Kaise bataoon main usse yeh? I can't. I told myself.

I walked out of my room and went to the living room.

"Chalein, ladies?" I asked everyone, looking as fine as I could. Qirat was looking at me with concern in her eyes. She'd definitely never seen me cry. I had never seen myself cry.

We went to the Centaurus Mall and all the ladies went shopping for clothes. I went to buy some clothes for myself.

Qirat's p.o.v.

After a few minutes of shopping, I spoke to Phuppo.

"Phuppo, I've selected these clothes for me. I feel kinda hungry. I'll see you guys at the food court?" I excused myself. I hadn't had my lunch but this was not the cause of my excuse. It was Shehryaar. I needed to talk to him.

"Haan, beta. Tumne dopehr ka khaana bhi nahi khaaya tha." She told me. I smiled at her and stepped out of the shop.

I went to the food court and called Shehryaar.

"Kahan ho?" I asked as soon as he received the call.

"Centaurus Mall mein, tum?" He tried to be funny.

"Ha. Ha. Meet me at the food court. Mujhe tumse baat karni hai." I told him and hung up.

I ordered for two cappuccinos and two chicken sandwiches. I paid the cashier and waited for him to come. I saw him coming after a few minutes. As soon as he was about to sit down, the coffees were ready. He picked up our order and returned to the table.

"Jee, kya hua?" He asked, picking up his coffee.

"That's for you to answer." I retorted.

"Kya matlab?" He asked.

"Tum mujhse baatein kab se chhupane lag gaye?" I asked in response.

"Main bas tumhe dukhi nahi dekhna chahta." He simply stated. "Abhi Allah Allah karke tumhara mood acha hua hai." He added.

"Hussain se baat hui hai na tumhari?" I asked. I knew this was the matter.

Shehryaar's p.o.v.

"Hussain se baat hui hai na tumhari?" She asked. How did she even get to know that? I nodded.

"Shehryaar, usey kaho ke woh waapis aajaye. Phuppo chaahe jitna bhi normal rahein humaare saath, maine unki aakhon mein woh dard dekha hai, woh khalish dekhi hai jo sirf Hussain ke aane se khatam hogi." She had tears in her eyes the whole time she spoke.

"Aur tum?" I asked. "Tum theek ho uske baghair?" I added.

She looked at me for a second. "Maine usse mohabbat ki thi, Shehryaar. Bohat mohabbat. But woh mera nahi tha." She said, looking down.

"Qirat, woh keh raha tha ke woh shaadi karke apni biwi ke saath aayega ammi abba se maafi maangne." I said it.

"That's great. Maine dua ki thi ke usko woh mil jaye jis se woh pyaar karta hai." She said, still looking down as she took a sip of her cappuccino.

How could she act so cool? I had expected her to at least cry. Bohat bahaddur hogayi hai yeh.

"Yeh sab kaise kar leti ho?" I asked.

"Kya?" She asked in response, now looking at me.

"'I am okay' ki acting?" I asked her.

"I'm done crying, Shehryaar." She stated. "Main apni poori zindagi ek aise shakhs ke liye roke nahi guzaar sakti jo mera hai hi nahi. Maine Khuda se duaon mein maanga tha usey. Woh mujhe nahi mila. Ismein Allah ki koi na koi maslehat hogi and I've accepted that. Main apne aap ko aur apne atraaf mein rehne wale logon ko aur takleef nahi dena chahti hoon roke aur sad reh ke." She spoke her heart out. Her eyes had welled up by now. She blinked away the tears.

"Tum itni badi aur samajh daar kab hogayi, Qirat?" I asked. She genuinely smiled at me.

"I just want Hussain to return so that Phuppa and Phuppo are happy. Woh uske zikr pe bohat ghamzada hojaate hain." She said.

"You're the best, Qirat." I told her.

"I know." She smiled making me chuckle.

"Chalo, let's finish eating and meet up with the others." She suggested and I nodded.

--- 1 Month Later ---

It's been a month since I haven't talked to anyone, not even Shehryaar. I didn't have the strength. I continued my job and had rented an apartment by now. Ammi aur abba ko face karne ki himmat nahi thi meri....Qirat ko face karne ki himmat nahi thi meri.

It's her birthday tomorrow. Her first one without me. Every year, I used to be the first one to wish her. I used to go to her place and wish her exactly at midnight. I want to be with her this year too. I need to be with her this year too. There has never been a birthday when I hadn't wish her. There won't be either.

I will be with her this year too.