Mentions Of Kennedy

Loose Ends

She was never at school anymore.
As much as I wished or wanted she never came.
And I pondered on what 'loose ends' was.
I made a mental list:
1. She's looking to climb a taller tree
2. She's travelling over to Hogwarts
3. Her headphones need replacing
6. She's
She's just gone.

Juliet called me over a couple of times to mingle with the grey.
Small talk, gossip, plain bitching.
Perhaps this kind of popularity isn't worth it.
Perhaps I'm just different.
Perhaps Kennedy changed me, because all I do is wait.

Sure enough, a week passed and a hand pulled me under the fence.
What she said to me first was the first sign of something gone terribly wrong.
"Josh."
Her face was so pale, fragile, precious china that could smash into a thousand pieces.
"Kennedy?"
I grabbed her hand.
It was cold.
She was crying.
Why was she crying?
All these years later I forget the little details hiding from the stories, the little sentences and observations that are missing, falling..
"Why are you crying?"
With a start I noticed- her eyes were brown.
"I'm fine, really, just come now, please."
And instead of her running away with me, I was the one leading the way.
It started raining.

We stopped running when we reached a bus-stop.
"Wait, why are we-"
She dropped her rucksack on the bench.
"I'm leaving."
no
"What? You can't do this, it's fucking unfair, you make me care for you, want you, and then you just leave? Why? What's more important?"
Sobs rack her body.
"Remember when I went away for a week?"
seems like centuries ago now
I nod, encouraging her.
"I'm picking up Daniel and leaving. I know a friend in New York. I can't stay anymore Josh. My parents are never home. Daniel isn't going to juniors, I'm missing time off school by minding him and running off with you. It's sorted."
I shake my head I'm disbelief.
"Kennedy, just why?"
why
"I told you!"
"There's something more."
"That's none of your business."
"Who cares what's my business anymore? This is lying, and I need more answers!"
A look of acceptance flashes in her eyes.
"I saw you across the yard and chose you. Knew you were different than the rest, what I needed to distract-"
"So that's it? I'm a distraction?"
"Fuck you."
I can't believe her.
"You're a stranger to me. Go, do whatever it is you do and keep me out of it. I should never have come with you at all."
Like a paper aeroplane she seems to descend from a high, and crumple.
"I love you Winters."
As I'm walking away I hear her and the clouds start drizzling onto the street.
turn around
I walk away.