Finding The Courage (a Ziam Mayne AU)

Chapter Eleven "Party Planning"

Zayn's POV

Christian and I weren't together, we weren't dating. We didn't do any of the relationshippy stuff. Except for holding hands and the occasional kiss on the cheek. We weren't a couple.

I wasn't, at least.

He wanted to be but he knew I didn't. Not because I didn't like him. He was incredible. He had those bright green eyes like emeralds that made my knees go week and when he laughed I always had to smile with him, no matter how down I was, and he was the kindest, most honest, most caring person I'd ever met. But regardless if how cute Chrissy thought we were together, I just knew for a fact that I could never love him as much as he would love me.

That had nothing to do with Liam! The past five months I had been alright. Without him. I didn't need him. I just knew that I couldn't love Christian the way he deserved to be loved.

"I met Liam yesterday.", I said meekly when Chrissy, Niall and I were having breakfast at a café near our university.

Niall seemed very uninvolved, lightly stroking the back of Chrissy's hand with his thumb while downing his coffee, whereas Chrissy's head immediately shot up. "When? Where? Where has he been?"

I'd told her more than I wished I had but ever since, she's been really supportive. In her own way.

"He didn't say. Said it wasn't important."

"What else did he say?" When she pulled her hand away to slap them together in front of her face, Niall winced and spilled some of his coffee on his shirt.

"What?", he mumbled, blinking at us sleepily and yawned.

"Nothing, love. You can carry on sleeping.", she said, softly patting his arm, then turned back to face me. "So?"

I shrugged. "Nothing, really. He asked how I was and all... He met Christian, though."

Her face went all serious and then she put a hand over her mouth, smiling slightly. "Well, how did that turn out?"

"Weird.", I said, smiling back. "Christian was cool with it - but he doesn't know, anyways - Liam was... well just... weird. He pretended to be all busy all of a sudden and went away again soon. I guess, he thinks Christian and I were on a date or something."

Her lips curled up into a sneaky smile. "So let him. Show him you're fine without him."

"I am fine without him.", I retorted. "I've blossomed over the last few months."

"Kind of.", she said with a caring, uplifting look in her eyes. "But yes, you are fine without him, you don't need him. Who even does? I don't."

I smiled. "Thanks, Chrissy."

"Don't mention it." She threw her arm around Niall's shoulders. "We're here for you, right?"

Niall nodded, still not completely awake. "But not before eleven o'clock in the morning." He yawned again.

"Got it.", I laughed.

"Wait. Does that mean, he'll be in uni again today?", Chrissy said, eyes opened wide.

"Probably."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sorry I'm late, guys." Louis said, when he finally arrived, half an our later than we had agreed on. "I lost track of time."

"It's fine.", I said and moved a little, so he could sit down next to me on the bench.

"So, how's the planning going?", he asked.

His whole body gave off the terrible cold he came from and I threw by arms around my torso, to keep myself warm. "Well, I've sorted out my guest list.", I said, my teeth clattering a little. "But it looks like we're gonna have to invite Liam."

"Is he back? Great." He smiled. He didn't know about anything that happened between us. I didn't want to burden his and Liam's friendship with my personal crap. "Wait. Is that a problem? You don't seem too excited."

"No. We would've invited him already if he'd been here." I did want to invite him. I didn't know why. I didn't know what I was hoping for. I could never be just friends with him again.

"Exactly.", Louis said, smiling.

Louis and I were celebrating our birthdays together. His was in late December - Christmas Eve to be exact, and no one really ever had time for a party around Christmas. Mine was in mid-January, so we often took the opportunity to throw a party together, since we would often invite about the same people anyways.

"Do you wanna invite him or should I do it?"

I shook my head. "No. You go ahead. I don't think I can find the time this week."

"Good." He got out a notepad and wrote something down. "When are you gonna be there for the preparations?"

"When do you need me?" We were having the party at Louis' because he had a flat of his own that was big enough to fit a party in there.

"You could just sleepover at my place, then we wouldn't be under any pressure."

"Sounds good."

"Should we help too?", Niall asked, finally woken up a little.

"That'd be great."