Finding The Courage (a Ziam Mayne AU)

Chapter Thirty "Courage"

Liam's POV

I watched him get up and turn on the coffee machine in the little kitchen-like compartment of our room, still feeling his soft touches all over my skin.

I still couldn't fathom what it was about him that made me feel this way. Maybe his dreamy, hazel eyes. His heartbreakingly adorable smile. His soft voice. The way he kissed me. The way he could tell me so much without saying a single word. Maybe everything about him. Maybe nothing I could ever notice.

But it made everything come alive inside of me. I was way too tired to function after yesterday but he managed to get me going within seconds.

He brought a tray with delicious-looking croissants and two steaming cups of coffee. "Voilà, Monsieur.", his French was beyond terrible, but I loved it. I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed it softly, before muttering a simple "Merci."

I fetched my jumper from the windowsill, we made ourselves comfortable on the bed, placing the tray between us, and I gratefully took my coffee to soak in the wonderful smell. "Breakfast in bed. How did I deserve this?"

He shrugged and kissed me on the cheek. "Just like that. No specific reason."

I smiled widely. He'd gotten up early just to get me breakfast - and I knew how much of a challenge that must have been for him. Yet, he looked so happy and content as if it didn't bother him at all. I downed half of my coffee at once and then reached for my croissant to give the caffeine time to do its job.

"How are you?", Zayn asked carefully but casually.

I knew what he was referring to. Meeting Stan the day before had really gotten to me. It still shot shivers through my whole body just thinking about it. But right now, I didn't want to think about it. I looked at the beautiful, wonderful man opposite to me and leaned in to make our lips meet in a delicate kiss. "Honestly? Right now, I couldn't be better."

He rewarded me with a crooked smile that made my heart flutter even more and gently touched my cheek. "I'm glad."

We continued in silence. It was a warm silence that filled the room like a candle would during Christmas and hugged us tightly while we were eating our croissants and drinking our coffees and being selfishly content in our own little bubble for the moment, forgetting the world outside our motel room.

At some point I was finished and started watching him as he ate. We was so concentrated on what he was doing, he didn't even notice. I lay there, admiring his perfection in the slight morning beam creeping through the window.

When he was done licking his fingertips, he realized that I was staring and looked at me a little concerned. "Do I have something on my face?", he asked, hastily wiping his cheeks with his sleeves.

He did have some buttery crumbs in the corner of his mouth, so I leaned in to lick them off, making him blush furiously. I smiled. "I love you.", I hummed, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"What?", he asked, not because he didn't understand me. Maybe because he thought he didn't understand me.

I only now noticed what I had just said. But it didn't freak me out. My head was still all fuzzy from Zayn's presence and my heart was racing anyways, but I felt lighter now. Like a knot inside of me had finally untangled.

"I love you.", I said again, very slowly and quietly, testing how the words felt on my tongue.

"Really?" His eyes widened, like those of a little kid that had just gotten an unexpected present.

I did. I loved him. How could I have been missing it all this time? How could I not have told him? He loved me, too, didn't he? He had told me that. And I just ignored it. What was I thinking?

I chuckled and kissed his cheek again. "Really.", I whispered blissfully, probably smiling like an idiot. "I love you."

He pulled me towards him and pressed our lips together. "I love you too.", he said, pushing me down into the mattress. I let him. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him close to my chest. He laughed, cuddled up into my jumper and ran his fingers over the Marvel logo on it.

I never thought I would ever say that again. But I'd said it. "I really, really love you.", I said again. Just to hear it once more. Just to say it.

"You already mentioned that.", he chuckled and looked at me with those eyes of his, shining like stars.

"I know." I stroked his chin with my thumb and smiled. "But Zayn?"

"Hm?"

"I love you." I was like a child that had just learned a new word and now had to repeat it over and over again. I had said it and I had become addicted to the feeling it left on my lips.

I'd never very thoroughly thought about happiness. I'd never asked myself where I wanted to be in ten years time or what I wanted to do before I die. I'd always tried to get from one moment to the next and see how it goes from there. But in this moment, lying in this bed, with Zayn cuddled against my chest, feeling his slow breath on my neck, I felt like this was enough. This was everything I would ever need. For the rest of my life, this could be enough.

He pecked me on the lips and tangled his fingers through my hair. "I love you too."

FIN