Crushing (Scömíche)

Chapter 7

*Scott's POV*

"Mitch? Mitch? Mitchie?" I asked, rapping lightly on the door.

"Mitch!" I screamed.

"Uggh! Dammit Mitch! Fuck!" I yelled. I leaned my back against the door and slid down until I was sitting on the floor.

"MITCH!" I yelled again, not as loud due to the tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

"Mitch!" I tried to yell but was at a talking level due to crying. I fished my phone out of my pocket and went into messages. There was a red bubble near the app reading 13. They were old messages from Kirstie. I still hadn't read them. I tapped on her name and started typing.

S: He needs you, he's freaking out again. It hasn't happened in so long, I don't remember what to do. He's locked in his room. I think he's listening to music so he can't hear me.

It went unread for 5 minutes

K: Give me 5

She was on her way. I could picture the small silver object piercing his skin. The dark blood rolling out as he cried.

I tried to stop thinking about it. I was crying so hard I couldn't get up when Kirstie knocked on the door. She let herself in and find me.

"Scott!" She yelled, pulling me onto my feet. She sounded mad. Her face was tear-streaked.

"I-I-" I started.

"I love you." She said and hugged me tightly.

"What do we do?" I asked though I doubt it sounded like that through my tears.

"Uhh. I don't know. He can't hear us." She said. She banged on the door and screamed his name like I had.

"Mitch! Dammit!" She yelled. She sank to the ground like I had, crying. I was still crying, still not knowing what to do. I think we sat there for 30 minutes before the door opened. I hopped into my feet in less than a second and had my arms thrown around him. Kirstie did the same. I let my head fall into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around us, crying too.

I stood up and grabbed his wrist. Nothing but scars. I grabbed the other away from Kirstie. No cuts, no blood

"You didn't-?" I started. My crying has lessened almost completely, but I wanted to start again with happiness. He shook his head with tears in his eyes.

"Music saves me from myself. It makes the bad times better and the good times perfect." He said softly. I stared into his eyes with a huge smile. I grabbed him in my arms and lifted him off the floor.

"You. Are. Amazing." I smiled.

"I'm going to go to bed." He said and turned around. After we said good nights Kirstie and I went to the kitchen.

"Thanks for coming over Kirst. I was so scared. I thought he might-" I stopped. She nodded softly and not her lip.

"What happened?" She asked after a long silence. My eyes widened. I had forgotten every word he said in my panic, but now it was clear again.

"He said that he, he loved me." I said.

"Like, really loved me, like a lot. Like, be my boyfriend." I said after a long silence. Boyfriend. It sounded so... Weird.

"H-he's gay?" She questioned.

"No! Yes! Wait, I don't know!" I said loudly.

"He, wants to... Date you?"

"I guess." I said

"And you want to date him?" She asked.

"I don't know! I'm new to this! But- maybe he- I don't know!" I said.

"How the fuck do you not know?" She almost yelled.

"I don't know!" I think I did tell. We weren't yelling at the situation. I think we were yelling because we were upset.

Kirstie sighed and flopped on the couch in the living room.

"That boy' going himself crazy, you know that? And I think he'll take us for the ride." She said. I sat by her feet.

"He needs us to get along right now. You know he's awake listening." I said.

"I want to get along! Not just for Mitch, but for me! I need you." She said.

"I need you too. You know, nothing can break the trio." I said. She smiled.

"So- uh- this is going to be awkward to ask- but when you-uh- said Mitch's name- do you like Mitch?" I stuttered.

"No, I was just- I don't know- thinking." She said.

"Oh." I said.

"Maybe, I should- uh- leave." She said after a long silence, standing up.

"Can you stay?" I asked sadly. She smiled a little.

"I'd actually love to." She said, sitting on the couch and half-snuggling up onto my arm.

"Netflix?" I asked. She smiled and nodded. I turned on Pocahontas and threw a blanket over us.

"I missed you Scott."

"I missed you Kirstie." I said. She planted a soft kiss on my cheek and cuddled up closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I had definitely missed this, but I still didn't know. Can you like take back being gay? But, I'm attracted to guys, too. What's that called? Bisexual? Maybe that was right. Maybe I was bisexual.

I felt rather comfortable with that. I felt like I was just being indecisive, though. Like I just couldn't decide so I just settled in the middle. But that's how I felt.

Kirstie fell asleep about 15 minutes into the movie. I ran my fingers through her soft blonde hair and I missed her more than I had yet.

"I love you, Kirstin." I said, kissing her forehead. I thought about Mitch's sleeping face and his always-perfect hair.

"I love you, Mitchell." I said, but it felt different. When I said it to Kirstie, I felt like big brother, but when I said it to Mitch, I felt like a lover. Someone who would softly kiss his thin lips and push stray hairs out of his face. I sighed softly.

"Good dreams, my loves." I said and leaned my head against Kirstie. Maybe this wasn't all that bad.