Crushing (Scömíche)

Chapter 13

Since its been so long since I updated I'm updating twice tonight. Enjoy!
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When I woke up Scott was already out of the bed. I groggily climbed out of bed to find him sitting in a puddle of tears on the floor in front of the couch.

"Scott?" I said softly.

"The baby lemur's mom died and now he's going to die alone and afraid!" Scott bawled, throwing his head to the floor. I couldn't help but laugh a little and Scott whipped around to give me a death stare.

"Apologize to Jimbo right now." He demanded.

"Is his name Jimbo?" I questioned.

"No, but I always forget. Now say sorry!" He whined.

"Sorry Jimbo. I'll make you pancakes if you want." I said.

"He says to just make Scott pancakes, he'll pass." Scott said, flashing me a cheesy smile. I laughed and went into the kitchen.

"Hungover?" I yelled as I gathered the stuff I would need.

"Just a bit. I wasn't that drunk." He said.

"You were soooo drunk." I said.

"Nuh-uh. I remember it all." He said, walking into the kitchen.

"You do?"

"Yeah it was pretty hot."

"Fuck you." I said and continued with my pancakes. He watched me from across the room until I was pouring the last pancake.

"How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?" He asked.

"I'd kick your ass out." I said.

"But what if I really want to." He begged.

"Well, in that case, I'd help you pack your bags before I kicked your ass out." I said.

"I love you." He mumbled.

"What?" I had heard him, but I wanted to hear it again.

"Nothing."

"Say it!" I said.

"You heard!" He accused. I froze.

"So?"

"You want me to say it again! You want to hear me say it, don't you?"

"Scott-" I started. He grabbed my waist and spun me around to face him. We were so close that my chin was close to resting on his chest as I looked up.

"You love me." He said.

"I do."

"Will you kiss me?"

"I won't"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass." I said.

"But what if I want this. What if I'm willing to get my heart broke in the end if I get to love you know? What if a life without you isn't worth living?"

I felt that deep in my heart. Suicide. Was he joking? He wouldn't, he knows I struggle with that, he's serious. He's thought about killing himself. Over me. Was he actually going to-

"A-are you s-serious?" I asked.

"Yes." He said. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pushed him back against a counter.

"Are you serious? I swear to god Scott-"

"I'm serious."

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I screamed.

"SCOTT! SCOTT! HOLD! Y-Y!" I screamed as I fell to the ground. I was spiraling into something.

"Help me! Scott! Help me!" I yelled at him, clawing at the air in his direction. He looked incredibly panicked. He picked me up and I clung to him hopelessly. He soaked a rag in hot water then rang it out before carrying me to my chair. He say down with me in his lap, reclining the chair as far as it would go. He placed the hot towel on my forehead and sing quietly. I curled up in a ball, head against his chest so the rag was barely clinging to my warm skin. I stared at the drops of water that fell from the rag into his shirt and listened to his voice. He had remembered what to do. I hadn't had a fit like this in so long I was amazed how well he handled it. I stuttered short, spread apart sounds occasionally, trying to grasp onto my only lifeline: Scott. I was gripping his wrist with one hand and the other was curled under me.

"K-keep me safe." I stuttered quietly.

"I will Mitchie. Always. You're mine." He whispered and kissed my forehead. I tried desperately to steady my breathing, which I turn caused me to panic again. I knew Scott hated seeing me like this, and that he hated that he couldn't do anything once it happened. All he could do was hold me here until I stopped. I tried to get up, but Scott wrapped one large arm over my waist so I couldn't move. I knew I shouldn't leave Scott, and I didn't want to, but during these fits my body decided what to do, not my brain. Once I had any sort of control, which usually took at least twenty minutes, I would flip onto my stomach, ready my head on Scott's chest, and fall asleep. Sometimes we would lie here sleeping for hours, but sometimes he would carry me to my bed.

Today's fit lasted longer than usual, pushing 40 minutes. I clutched Scott's arm until there were five round bruises on his wrist. He never complained though, and never held me to it. Later he would change into a long sleeve shirt just to hide the bruises from me. I knew that. He always did. He didn't want me to know that I hurt him during these, but I did know.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered.

"Don't be sorry Mitchie , you're just fine. You're doing really good. Are you ok?" He said calmly.

"O-ok. Y-you n-not ok." I stuttered.

"I am ok. But let's worry about you." He assured me.