JK Lol

Flash Forward III.

Flash Forward III.
Subtext: Humans

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I begin to exit the church and walk towards our car. The walk there is a bit wet and sloppy due to the water. I don't want to get my Converses wet so I avoid the water puddles and keep to the driest parts of the cement sidewalk.
All through out the sermon, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was all that was on my mind. This was the first time we didn't take her to church with us. We'd stand beside each other usually and hold hands, even though my parents would scold me for holding hands in church. I didn't understand their logic therefore I disagreed with them. I am a man of understanding, of reasons, of why.
The thought of her beside me is nostalgic and I feel tears in my eyes already. Stop.
But I can't help it. The lone tear wells up in my eye, and streams down the side of my cheek. I miss her so much.
The things she has said to me lately... They hurt me more than she realizes. And I'm getting tired of it. I've grown tired of this. I work my ass of everyday, just to keep us talking, as friends, and that isn't enough. I want to be with her, as a boyfriend, but just friends is a place to start.
I had told her this morning that I was tired of the bullshit and everything surrounding it, I am. This is really tearing me apart. And we can't do this. I can't do this anymore. She'll probably tell other people that I didn't love her and that I didn't try. But I don't care anymore. I know myself, that I tried my best, my hardest, and that wasn't enough. But that's okay. She no longer loves me. She lies to herself now. She speaks empty words, but that's okay. I love her.