JK Lol

Flash Forward III

Flash Forward III
Subtext: The Cure

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I grab my bag, and head out the doors towards the car. It's cool outside and the sky's gray, screaming sorrow. Just as my screams are, they fall upon deaf ears.
I try to walk a little faster but my mother stops me to tell me that I'm riding home with my father. It's too bad she doesn't know that that place she calls "home", is simply my place of residency. Thus rendering my "home" a house. Currently, my real home has evicted me.
I step into the red van and close the passenger side door, sealing the cold winds out my bubble of safety.
The drive to our house was that of a short drive, filled by small talk between my father and I.
I stare out the window the entire way, thinking about me.
I can't help but wonder about her.
But I have a rather concrete understanding of myself, making it easier to think about myself.
So I think.
About the truth.
And all I've done.
And all I haven't done.
What have I done to deserve this
We arrive at our house and I step out out of the car and enter our house and wander into my room.
All I want to do nowadays is to lay in my room, and just be.
I don't want to go for a run.
I don't want to work.
I don't want to go to school.
I don't want to live.
But I'm not living anyways. Not without her. She is my life, for my life has revolved around her for the past year. It's kinda hard to break something you've had for a year.
I manage to drift off to sleep.

She beckons for me to come to her, to her arms for a graceful embrace that I know I need. I walk towards her and she turns. I stop, confused. So I turn too, and see another girl. I walk towards the other girl instead and hear calls from behind me. I turn and see she's talking to another girl, complaining and crying about how I turned away. So I turn my body completely and begin to walk back to her. Her head raises from her hands and sobs and she turns away again. Confused, I turn again and walk again. Once again I hear her crying and her complaining about how I turned so I go back to her. She turns to me once more and pushes me away.

Awaking, I hear footsteps outside my doorway.

"Hey, get up. We're gonna leave to Austin for my birthday. We're gonna buy my present. So get up, We're leaving in an hour or so."
She begins to walk away but turns back to my doorway and steps back into my room.
"Oh. And did you read her new chapter in her book?"
She's been writing a book on Wattpad too and lately her chapters have been pointed at me. Not just me but I've been a main point. I haven't been able to read up since I haven't had any WiFi to update.
"No, I haven't been able to. Why?"
I ask her.
All she does is walk over to me, her phone already on Wattpad and on her story, and hands it to me.
I start reading as my sister leaves my room.

I feel my heart pounding through my chest and a feeling of uneasiness washes over my body as I near the end. Tears well up in my eyes and I drop the phone out of my hands. My hands start to shake and I cover my eyes with my forearm and lay back.

She's cutting.

I did this.
I caused this.
I feel so guilty that I want to throw up.
I can't believe this.
I have to fix this.
The one girl I love, and I ruined everything.
I want to fix things.
I have the cure.

Let me fix this. Please.