The Worst Couple

Just Another Day in High School

BTW: Slideshow at the side is of Blake Hawethorn, played by Blake Lively....

I was having a bad day. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was PMSing. However the fuck you said it, the meaning was still the same: TODAY. SUCKED. MONKEY. BALLS. I wasn't normally as irrational as I was being at the moment, but I was naturally a bitch in the mornings. The meanest things I've ever said have all been in the mornings.

By the time I had gotten dressed, I was half-convinced that my Hollister skinnies were purposefully being a bitch this morning, making my thighs and calves look six times bigger. My little brother, Xander, was the only relaxing thing this morning, unfailingly saying "Good morning, Blake. Can I have candy for breakfast?" as he usually did.

And I replied, as I usually do, "No baby, it's not good for you. Eat your cereal like a good boy, please".

As usual, I was running moderately late. Reassured by the sense of normalcy that I had caught back in a strangle-hold, I shimmied into flats, laced Xander's shoes and floored it out of there.

I stopped at Krispy Kreme for my guilty pleasure of coffee and a donut, bringing Xander with me. As I recall, I was running late. But my motto, still upheld to this day, is: If you think that you don't have enough time to stop for donuts, you should give up. If you can't squeeze in a measly second for God's most beautiful creation, then you're probably already so late that you can kiss your punctuality goodbye. I was calming down and hitting my donut-high-afrtershock like I usually did when this guy decided to attempt to grab my ass. I swear, I nearly went bull-seeing-the-red-fudging-flags on him when I realized Xander with me. With great, great reluctance, I restrained the urge to give the guy a piece of my mind. A strongly worded and slightly threatening-sized piece. I instead gave him the worst stink-eye that I could work up. Instead of being ashamed of himself, the bastard actually had the nerve to signal the whole "call me" thing that everybody does at some point. What the dude seemed to have forgotten was the fact that he never actually gave me his number. After dropping Xander off, I pulled into some parking lot and took a couple of deep breaths.

I didn't get angry the way normal people did. (At least, I didn't think I did). When I got mad, it was an actual physical reaction; when I calmed down, I got goosebumps from the change in body temperature. I was never one to enjoy getting my ass grabbed by random guys so naturally I was pissed. When I finally got the goosebumps, I sighed.

Deciding that I was pushing my luck, I quickly put the car in drive and drove it at the legal speed. I pulled into the school parking lot, grabbed my stuff and managed to rush into the school right in time. Just when I had begun to think that I had calmed down, I walked into my retarded ass-hat of a "family friend", Cody. And that was all it took to fuel our cut-off argument from yesterday. Though I would never admit it to anyone, I was actually somewhat relieved I had somebody to take my anger out on. So here we were, in the middle of the hallway, screaming at each other, my face turning increasingly impossible shades of red, despite the fact that I was totally relishing this moment.

"Jackdonkey!" I yelled at him.

"Ho!" He yelled back.

"Fitch!"

"Slut!"

"Fathermucker!" I screamed, hoping he would shut up. He instantly reeled back and glared at me murderously. I smirked. One thing Cody could never stand was the thought of screwing someone's mother. It amused me.

Decidigng to stroke his ego a bit- I really relished our arguments and had a fear that he'd stop arguing with me if he was pushed too hard- I stepped back a little, backing into the wall, acting slightly frightened. He tried different tactics. His eyes softened around the edges, his tone becoming wheedling.