The Worst Couple

The Worst Couple: Chapter 2

BTW: Slideshow at the side is Piper, played by actress Genelia D'Souza

I smiled at my lab partner, smiling dreamily at him. "Blake, this is your new partner, Jesse Brown." She said, smiling conspiratorially at me. Thank God all my teachers liked me. I thanked her with my eyes. Mrs. Johnson was a fairly young teacher and she totally understood the importance of a guy having nice hands. That's right; I have an unofficial man-hand fetish.

"I think I'm going to like this school." He said, voice low and husky. He grinned at me. I nearly raised an eyebrow at that. New guy moves fast.

He gently set his stuff down and scooted his chair closer to me before sitting. Omygurd, he smelled so good. Not that I was sniffing him or anything.

Mrs. Johnson walked away smiling, writing his name on her attendance chart. When he wasn't looking at us, she gave me a wink. Since this was my last period, he stopped to talk to me after class.

"Hey, are you lost?" He asked, looking concerned. I frowned. Please tell me the new guy isn't insane. I was totally watching the cartoon-me inside my head shaking her fist at the heavens for sending her a cute but mental new guy when I realized I still hadn't answered.

"No, why?" I asked. I crossed my fingers, hoping he wouldn't-

He smirked. I nearly screamed at him. Thanks for the turn-off, bro. I cannot stand guys that smirk. It was far too reminiscent of bad childhood memories with Cody.

"Well...heaven is really far away from here..." He said, his smile coming out. I could feel my face burning. "Hey, can you pinch me?" He asked. I faked a laugh. Internally, cartoon-me was sobbing. Why can't any cute guys actually nt be jerks? Was it too much to ask for?

"Why?" I asked.

“You’re so fine, I must be dreaming." He said, grinning wider. I couldn't help it. I couldn't keep the wince off my face. That was the lamest pick-up line I had ever heard. Even as I walk to my car, he's still following me. I guess it was time to be the awesome and experienced person that I am and tell him to screw off. Oh, wait, can't give off a bad first impression. How do you let off a jerk-face-stalker-guy that has the worst pick-up lines?

"I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?" He asked, actually looking hopeful. 

"In your dreams, buddy." I said, getting in a good punch that practically screamed I'm totally friend-zoning you so back off, dude. Jesse's smile fell a little. Ah, good, he received the not-so-subtle hint. 

"Whatever. You'll want that kiss eventually." He said, smirking before he left. Omygurd, if he didn't stop it with the freaking smirks, I was going to get a damn frying pan and "fix" his face.  I turn and see Cody on the hood of my car, glaring at me. Suddenly, bunches of malevolent plots begin to overfill my brain.

"Get the off my car, worthless." I mutter, trying to shove him off. Deep breaths, Blake, remember: You control the murdering-instinct, it does not control you. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. His breath tickled my ear.

"My pick-up lines are WAY better." He said, his lips brushing against my ear. I shove him away and roll my eyes. "Whatever." I mutter, feeling my eye starting to twitch. Remind me to wash that ear with scalding water when I get home. He probably noticed my eye twitching. So, of course, he just had to smirk. "Your mom said you would give me a ride and that you would help me with my homework.” 

I moaned, once again in my screw-the-world mood. "Whatever, just get in the frickin' car," I say, rolling my eyes. Was it too much to ask for? All I wanted was to enjoy my five-minute confidence boost that I had gotten from turning Jesse down (I'm terrible, I know) and then stuff my face with cheesecake when I get home. Every girl does it at some point but no, I have to be stuck with the self-conceited bastard that had told me he was "swag" every twenty minutes in the 9th grade. Joy.