The Cursed Alpha

Hurt and Pain

FREY POV

I had been sleeping alone for years. I used to sleep alone when I was small, only occasionally seeking my brother in the middle of the night when nightmares plagued my subconscious. But after I got cursed and went rogue for a few years, I learned how to deal with them by myself.

When Beta Christopher brought me back to the pack two years after I had run away, I had already gotten used to dealing with my own nightmares while sleeping alone. I was positive that my brother knew when I had had a nightmare, since I was sure that my wolf told his of my fear. He always asked how I had slept after I had a nightmare. And I would always answer 'fine.' Because I was. I was fine. I knew Beta Christopher didn't believe me. But, the curse and lifestyle of a rogue had changed me. I became more mature, goal-driven, and independent. I stopped telling my brother about my fears, and I started exclusively sleeping by myself. I had turned nine that year.

For the next thirteen years I slept by myself. And then I met my mate: Zale Maverick. That had been two weeks ago. And I was still sleeping alone. He didn't want to share a room with me, which is not a good thing. I didn't exactly crave him, his touch, or his presence, but I knew my wolf wanted her mate close to her, even if she denied it.

We didn't want to force him into anything he doesn't want to do, because we didn't want to hurt him, but I knew that sleeping with him, or at least next to him, would make our bond grow stronger almost instantaneously. And the faster our bond stabilized and grew, the faster I would gain my emotions. And when I gained my emotions, I could compassionately rule my pack, with Zane at my side.

My pack would prosper, and that was all my Alpha instinct drove me to do. I felt pain every time I made a wrong decision for my pack- like a knife wedging itself between my ribs and into my lungs. It usually becomes hard to breathe, and if I had made a particularly disastrous decision, I could spend up to two days in the pack infirmary.

Enough thinking, my wolf chided me, let's go have breakfast.

Alright, alright, I said, Give me a minute Yaps.

I got out of bed and stretched. I asked Yaps if she wanted to get out, to loosen her muscles, but she said that my mate might not like that.

We had talked to Zane's wolf last night, while we were lying in bed, and he had revealed a lot to the both of us. He had told us his name, firstly. It was a strong name: a loud bark with just a hint of a growl behind it. I had practically felt Yaps whine in pleasure at his name, and how powerful it was. Honestly, had been surprised at how dominant and Alpha-like Zane's wolf was. I had wondered how an Alpha had been so patient and calm in all the situations my mate had put him in. My wolf and I had already known that we had to get our mate's human side to accept his wolf, but we hadn't known how urgent his situation was. He hadn't shifted in years. For an ordinary wolf that might've just extremely uncomfortable, anger-provoking, and hallucination-inducing, but for an Alpha wolf to not have gotten out in that long... me and my wolf didn't even know. We couldn't recall an instance when that had ever happened before. And we didn't want to find out if there were any fatal consequences if it was our mate as the lab rat.

Seriously. Stop. Thinking. Yaps said. Time. To. Eat.

I had just finished brushing my teeth and throwing on a new set of clothes. I mentally rolled my eyes at her, and I felt her rolling hers back at me. But I knew she was right. I had this nasty tendency of not being able to tell when I was hungry or not, and it was up my wolf to tell me when to eat, or we both feared that I would never eat and die of starvation. If I died, my pack would be open for any Alpha wannabe to come in and take over. And odds are, they would suck and drive my pack to the ground.