Hospital For Souls

Chapter 10

I ran along the beach where the water meets with the sand. Laughing as my dad runs after me. "Im gonna get ya Oli!!!" He calls after me and picks up speed. I laugh harder. But being 5 years old, I couldn't really run that fast compared to an adult. He picked me up and tickled me and I squealed with laughter. He smiles finally putting me down. "I'll race you to the top of the hill and we'll go get something to eat. Alright?" I nodded and started running to the hill. Him running with me, but lagging behind to let me win. I loved spending time with dad but I hated going home after, because I would see mom. She was always the kill joy, opposite of my dad. She seemed to dislike me. But I could understand. I was a little shit and I guess that she gave up trying cause when I got older and tried to be a good kid she never took notice. I always did something wrong.
When we get to the top of the hill I smile and look over at him. He starts coughing violently while hunched over. I watch in concern as it goes on longer than it should. My smile goes away. "Are you okay daddy?.." I ask, scared. "Yes I'm fine...come on little man" he gives me a smile and walks next to me. As years went by the coughing got worse and worse and as I got older I noticed it.

"Oliver we need to talk..." My mom says. I freeze a little and glance in her direction. The serious, sad expression on her face worried me. I join her at the table. "Now i know its been difficult for you after your father died..." I shift in my chair, biting the inside of my cheek a little to hard at what she brought up. I didn't like this topic at all, ever since my dad passed away, I've felt everything fall apart. My friendships, school, health. I moved schools cause my mom thought it would do me good but instead its made things worse. She has no idea what's happened to me.
"But I've met someone..he's great and well..he's going to move in with us soon. His name is George." she continued. She smiled at me. Her smile went away as we looked at each other and she was realizing I didn't smile. This angered me. "Okay?.." Was all I could manage to choke out. My eyes stung. "Well at least be happy for me, Oliver! I'm trying to make us a family again" Her voice raised. I got up. "Happy for you?! Be happy for you?! Dad is dead. Dads done nothing but support my choices and the music I'm trying to make while you want me to be more like...like a fucking preppy boy. Or a fucking jock. And you never helped him support me. You didnt care about my dreams. You made me move away from my friends thinking it would help...but for months I've been so alone without one friend...Instead ive been beaten up, pushed and shoved and called names, being talked down to every day. And you never noticed...Ive kept it to myself so you didn't have to worry...but you want me to be happy for you..right? It's okay for you to make choices and not ask me how I feel, you know as long as you can sleep around and jump into the pants of the first guy you meet" I shouted as I felt tears welt in my eyes. "Dont talk to me like that! Your my son and I love you...but I'm worried about you. You should've told me. But its okay because he has a son your age...you two will get along" she offered, not getting what I just said. "If you were worried you would've asked me how I felt for once...but hey. It's great that your happy...without your son cause what does he matter he's such a disappointment. The opposite of what you wanted" I looked at her in anger then shook my head and walked out of the kitchen. "Where are you going?!...get over here and lets talk!" She shouted.
"Out..." I muttered as I walked out the door. Tears streaming down my face. I've always felt like it was my fault. My fault she was always in a bad mood. As I've said before I wished I could've been different. To take it back but even when I tried. It didn't matter anymore. As my mom she kinda just, gave up.

Weeks later from then, after school.

"Fucking faggot!" He yelled as he kicked me in the ribs repeatedly when I fell down. I covered my head and face with my arms as the pain wouldn't stop. Red, Salty coppery liquid coughed up out of my mouth and onto the floor in front of my face. Blood. I heard shouting all around me. I curled up in fetal position. It all stopped when I heard a teachers voice yelling and pulling him away from me. Making everyone leave the scene the teacher helped me up and asked me if I was okay. I got up and put my hood up. "I'm fine!...just leave me alone.." I wanted out of there so fast. But the amount of pain I was in made this harder.
About an hour later I made it to my house. As I walked the stone path to my front door. I looked in the window and stopped.
Jared, my moms boyfriends son. Sitting on the couch playing guitar, my mom and her George sitting across from him, her head leaning on his shoulder as they smiled and watched him play.
They looked like a perfect family. Without me. My eyes filled with tears as I remember the last time I tried to sing for my mom and dad.
Mom was too busy and impatient to hear but when dad was alive he stopped everything and took the time to listen. Mom never had time for me. But she has time for everyone else.
Funny isn't it?...
I turned around and walked away. Leaving this house I used to call mine behind. I left it all behind and never came home. The only time I went back was when everyone was asleep and I took my stuff and ran away.
That's when I started doing heroin, cocaine and started drinking. I was scared being by myself on the streets but I didn't want to go back.

I met a girl on the streets, she was a little older than me but she would sell herself for money. She got me started on cocaine and heroin and she pulled me into the darkness with her. As we got closer and closer she quit selling herself and I did my best to take care of her instead. I felt like she was my soul mate at the time. That we were meant to be but I was blinded. Never having been in love and having drugs and alcohol bind us together. I was not living in reality I had lost touch with if for a long time since meeting her. She stole from me, used me, didn't love me like I loved her and she cheated on me. I was just a second option to her for when things got ugly.
I've fought with guys over her when I caught her cheating. In a drunken state i had gotten very violent and pushed her away. I pushed anyone away who came into my life. Months of the same shit I finally one day overdosed. I don't remember what killed me the first time. I don't know if it was an overdose. Ill just assume it was I guess.

At my funeral I watched the people as they stood around my closed coffin. They threw roses down and I looked at my mom. She was still with that guy, George. They have 2 kids at their sides who look like her and him both and I saw a shiny wedding ring on her finger. She didn't cry at all. Not even when they lowered my coffin. She mouthed "Bye Oliver...I'm sorry" As she stared at my coffin.
I then turned my head and walked away. I felt lonely, I couldn't tell what was worse. Being alive with the feeling of being lonely and never feeling good enough or being dead and not having an option to be lonely or being good enough ever.

All these memories playing through my mind made me feel lonely and dead all over again. But something stopped me. One memory that was different. One sweeter and full of light that made me happy again..
The only light in the darkness surrounding me.
Iris.

I remember sleeping and me laying there next to her unable to keep her warm. It hurt me. Hurt me even more she gave up her energy in her dreams just so that I could live. We both never knew it would end up like this. Maybe this is the ending result when you try to fuck with life and death. Death took everything that made me happy in life. It left me with nothing.
You need to wake up! I shouted at myself. I hated this, watching my whole life and the choices I've made, watching how it all went by so fast with me unable to do anything but remember and let it haunt me.
I heard voices around me in darkness. "name is Oliver Scott Sykes. He was running across a road and got hit by a car. He has fractures in his ribs, broken arm and a linear closed fracture in the back of his skull.."

"Iris..." I mumbled as my eyes slowly opened. I looked at my surroundings. I'm all alone in a hospital room. How long had it been?...days?..weeks?..