Forever Young : Im Jaebum

「 chapter seven 」

Eating while talking was our favorite thing to do.

Eating while talking about serious stuff? Sure, why not? I've got nothing to lose, anyway, and besides, this is JB. Once a month, we would have these serious talks while sitting by the Han River and eating chicken.

"This is good chicken," he commented, reaching into the box to take another piece.
"Of course it is. Chicken is always good," I swallowed the chicken in my mouth.
"Yeah, but sometimes, there's the case of burnt chicken,"
"That's rare, though,"
"Even though," he shrugged, taking a bite of the chicken leg he was holding. I looked into the box.
"Did you eat both chicken wings?"
"Did I?" he asked, surprised, peering into the box. "You didn't get to eat a wing?"

I sighed and took a piece, waving it in front of his face which caused him to start laughing. I took his chicken neck, since he took my chicken wing, which was my favorite part. See, chicken neck was his favorite part of the chicken.

"I'll take this, then,"

He made a face at me and continued to eat his chicken, as if nothing happened.

"You know, there are times when I just wonder, what if we didn't meet? What would I be doing now?"
"Struggling through law school, obviously," I answered.

It's only been a few months since he first asked me to run away with him, but it feels like a really long time already. Maybe it's because we've done so many things that it's like that.

"Ugh," he shook his head. "I hated law school. Those freakishly thick books..." He literally shuddered at the thought and watching him, I had to smile. "I guess I really have to thank you for it, then. If you didn't agree to run away with me..."
"Would you ran away still if I said no?"
"Probably not." he shook his head. "So thank you... Thanks a lot. I really owe you for coming with me,"
"Why? You don't have to thank me. I like being with you. We've never been separated for years, do you think I'll let you get away from me that easily?"

He let out a loud laugh, for which reasons I had no idea about. What was so funny about what I said? I was about to ask him when he gave me an answer already.

"Your choice of words. It makes me feel like we're dating, or married, or whatever. 'Do you think I'll let you get from me that easily?'" he copied me, laughing. "Wow. I can't believe you. Are we in a drama right now?"

I shook my head, a smile on my lips at his actions. He looked around, a wide smile still on his face.

"Yah," he reached over, tapping my arm. "Do you want a drink?"
"What?" my eyes widened.
"Let's have a drink. One bottle,"

Eventually, we just decided to go home, passing by the convenience store to buy some bottles of alcohol because he really wouldn't stop asking for it. He only asked for one bottle, but he ended up buying tons. More than ten.

"Believe it or not, I've drank with my friends from high school before I graduated," he shrugged, pouring himself another glass. "It's really nice to talk over a drink. Because of the alcohol, you know that no one's lying about anything. That everything is true. After having a few bottles, that's the time when the truth comes out. The things that we never got to say to each other, the secrets we've kept, that sort of thing,"
"Did you drink again after that?" I asked.
"Before graduating? Hell no. It was too risky, especially since three were minors... BamBam and Yugyeom were only fifteen that time, but they still drank. They said that they had to at least find a way to get rid of the stress, even if it was just for one night. They had a lot of problems, those two. Especially BamBam. It's not obvious when you look at him. He's always smiling that you think he's so carefree but he's actually not. And you know, he cried that night, too. He told us everything he was going through. He's been through a lot at fifteen, that kid."

He stopped talking and reached into the plastic bag, pulling out another bottle. He took off the cap and just drank straight from the bottle itself.

"You tell me something. I'm getting tired of talking all by myself."
"I don't think I ever told you this before, but you remember that time in high school, when my parents kept on pressuring me to get higher grades? That I shouldn't get a ranking lower than the fifth?"
"Yeah. You were in the eleventh place that time. You cried so much,"
"You remember the day after we saw the ranking? When you saw the marks on my neck?" I asked him, with which he nodded in reply. He reached over, touching a place on my neck. His touch was like ice against my skin, I had no idea why. "My parents were out that night and I just..."

I trailed off. I didn't like remembering it. I never did, but I guess somehow I had it get it out. It's hard, living for years with a memory of that. I didn't finish what I was saying, but he still understood. I grabbed the bottle and filled my glass to the brim, downing it in one shot, the alcohol burning my throat.

"Stupid girl," he muttered. "What do you think your parents would have felt? What do you think I would have felt? You should really think sometimes, you know. Or at least talk to someone about it! To me! If you just killed yourself, I would have never forgiven myself for not being able to stop you!"
"It had nothing to do with you!"
"Even though! I'm your friend! I care about you so much and you just go and commit suicide without any sort of warning? The fuck! What were you thinking?"

I didn't mind his language. I assumed that it was also one of his drunk habits. He got up from his seat and walked over to me, sitting down beside me.

He leaned over the table and pulled the alcohol bottle to him. Underneath the table, he slipped his hand into mine, entangling our fingers together.

"Did you have any more thoughts like that afterward?"
"No," I shook my head. "Because the next day, I just saw you and... I felt like there were still reasons to live for, even if my parents were pushing me to be at the top in school, at least, I knew that there was someone who would always be with me."

He was silent for a long time, but he was staring at me. I didn't know what was going through his mind. He had one of those unreadable expressions on his face again.

"Yah," he touched my cheek, taking me by surprise.

When I looked at him, he suddenly leaned over and kissed me. It wasn't rough or hard or anything like that. It was just... Gentle. And sweet, which was a bit surprising seeing how he was drunk. A person would have expected a drunk person's kiss would be rough and demanding, but his wasn't anything like that.

After a while, he pulled back and let out a sigh, leaning back against the seat again as he closed his eyes, biting his lip, while I was merely speechless, sitting there where I was.

He took a swig from the bottle of alcohol, draining it and slamming it back down on the table. I thought it would break from his grip, but fortunately it didn't.

"Do you know this feeling?"
"What feeling?"
"That one where you feel your heart's about to burst and you don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling that right now. I don't know what to do with my heart."

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I'll be honest, I really don't know where this idea came from. It was like, six in the evening, then I started typing and it just sort of turned into this serious chapter... What do you think of it, though?