The Blindfold » l.t au

thirty five

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Charlotte insisted to stay with me, in my room, but I refused. I wasn't a damn baby, and I needed the dark and isolation to figure out what the ever-loving fuck was wrong with that girl. After a million time saying no to my sister, she finally wished me a good night hesitantly, as if she knew it wasn't a good night at all.

The dark clouded me.

I wanted to strangle Lola. The urge truly consumed me.

I closed my eyes, the ache in my chest so painful. I rubbed at it. Would it always hurt? Or could I possibly move on like I did after Angela? Hell, did I have to move on? Was Lola so much as Angela and I had misread her? The situation was different, I had been infatuated with Angela, but I was in love with Lola. No one recovered from that easily. And especially not someone who was in love with a firecracker, because they burn.

My heart squeezed again, and I just wanted to numb it.

The flat was dark and I tried to be quiet, taking my keys and leaving as inaudibly as possible. I didn't want to wake Charlotte and I just want to drink myself into oblivion. I strode purposefully to the elevator, but my feet stopped instinctively in front of Lola's flat, my mind filled with chaos. Was she even here? Did she feel any pain at all?

Angry at myself, I moved away.

I could've taken my car, but I wanted to walk, smell some fresh air. I felt shallow and somewhat defeated. Heartbreak ran through my veins like blood, and my yearning accompanied every breath I took. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted her stay. I wanted to apologize, to kiss her tears and hold her in my arms, shield her from a world where anyone could hurt her. I'd been almost certain she'd stay, but then again, I knew Lola. She guarded herself, and would guard herself to the last breath. Even if it meant absolutely smashing my heart.

The bar was thankfully empty, and I took a seat, requesting an entire bottle of Jack. Mina, the bartender, and somewhat a friend of mine, frowned, but wisely, said nothing. She placed a glass in front of me and a bottle of Jack, pouring some. I shot her a bitter smile, draining the glass, hoping the numbness followed quickly. I told her to keep it filled quickly, and her concern deepened.

"Louis..." she was a bit unsure.

"Mina, just fill the bloody glass!" I snapped, slapping my palm on the surface of the bar. She jumped lightly, but filled the glass anyway. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't find it in me.

One, two, three...countless drinks later, I was pissed and downright shitfaced. But her face wouldn't leave my memory, her scent wouldn't leave my nose, and her voice wouldn't leave my ears. I remembered her laugh, her smirk, the challenge in her eyes, the defiance she always exuded. I thought of her eyes, of her lips, and her sexy body that starred every fantasy in my head ever since I met her that day in the market. I chuckled, where were we now from that day? Weeks later, in love with each other, and she runs away.

Fucking Lola.

I was too pissed and didn't care at all that Mina was trying to sober me up. I started to realize that she mixed the shots somehow with something that started to clear the fog from my head a little. My eyes were quite unfocused and I looked at Mina, but I saw Lola's face.

Fuck that noise.

"I want a place to crash," I mumbled, slapping some money on the counter. "You're not in a relationship, are you? I can't handle any drama right now."