Awakening (konnie)

Please don't go!

(Johnnie's pov)

Oh my god Kyle!

I have to go see Kyle I have to tell him everything's going to be alright, I have to be there for him after what he has gone through.

I want to hold him and never let him go until all his hurt has become my own.

I leave the house and walk straight towards Kyle's house with only one thought on my mind.

I'm gonna tell him how and I truly feel about him, he's the constant thought in my head 24/7 and I can't get him out.

I think I might be falling for him, my head is blurry with only one image...

Kyle.

My mind is running at full speed and I have no chance of catching up to it.

As I walk onto the porch of his house I ring the door bell awaiting to see his perfect/flawless face, but instead, I see his dad with disappointment written across his face.

As he opens the door he rolls his eyes and says "what the hell do you want?!"

my nerves are all over the place, my legs are shaky, and my mouth won't move with shit.

Get a hold of yourself no time to chicken out now Now that you've come so far! I think "casually" to myself, "come one speak boy we sat got all day!" his roaring voice snaps me out of my daze, "Oh right yeah is Kyle here by chance?

Sir..."

my shaky voice wasn't very hidden it was plainly obvious I was highly intimidated by this gross overgrown old man, he steps back and points u towards the ceiling "thanks."

I say calmly, or as calmly as I could.

I walk up the stairs with a pounding heart, this is it I'm going to reveal my true feelings for Kyle and I have to accept any response he has no matter what...

As I put my hand on the door knob I heard a faint cough coming from what seems to be the bathroom and it sounded like Kyle, I turn over to the gray choked door beside me and turned the knob bit it was locked.

My instincts were telling me to panic cause there was no sign of running water or any movement just faint breathing, I used to do the same thing whenever I was about to give up, whenever I was in serious trouble on the verge of dying.

Thankfully I learned of to pick a lock with using only two items and those were paperclips, I learned this technique by rummaging through YouTube, not the best source on these kinds of things but it helped me get in my house whenever I forgot my key.

I had a couple in my pocket and worked my magic and unlocked the door only to find what I had feared most, Kyle laying there on the cold tile floor with a bottle of ibuprofen beside him.

"KYLE!!!"

My fears were coming true, I knew he was gonna leave me but not like this, this is what I dreaded most!

I jolted beside him and tried to find a simple response from him "oh my god, Kyle, Kyle please wake up.

Kyle!"

my heart is pounding, my whole body beings to shake I don't know what to do, I feel so helpless so weak it's sickening...

I'm sickening for not being able to do anything! His eyes were opening and closing he was fading away and my heart dropped, I couldn't handle another surprise like this, the hurt is just too real the man I devolved feelings for was slipping away right on n my arms and all I could do was sit there feeling sorry for myself... How pathetic!

I hear loud stomps rich up the stairs, his parents slam into the bathroom the expression on their faces is unlike many in a crisis like this, they look so hurt, so disappointed in a way I was jealous I don't think my parent ever looked this worried about me in my entire life it are me really angry and envious towards Kyle.

There was no time to feel like this with instinct I shoved two fingers down his throat trying to flush out some of his system a couple gags came from him until a flood of pills rushed to the surface and all over my favorite pair of skinny jeans I had picked out just to see Kyle, that's the last time I try to look nice for someone.

A couple minutes later I heard an ambulance they must have called 911 when I wasn't paying attention l, I moved out of the way when two guys came into the bathroom escorting Kyle out in a bed, as I got outside I hopped into the truck next to Kyle along with his parents the grief in the or eyes was overwhelming.

Already out of the hospital just to be brought back, when Kyle wakes up he's going to shatter to pieces probably reminded of the first visit, maybe that's why he tried to do it, maybe the thought of being violated like that triggered something in his brain to make him want to die, the feeling of being helpless and alone can really eat at the soul, it's to much hurt to carry for someone, anyone!

I know I could never handle something this strong not in a million years...

as we arrive at the hospital they run as if being chased by a rabid beast to the ER, a nurse comes up to me with a rapid tone saying "I'm sorry but you can't go in there with them you have to wait in the waiting room."

My heart feels as if it's shattering over and over again, my breaths become short and fast, my head's all fuzzy and my vision isn't clear, I'm having an anxiety attack!

My chest hurts and on the verge of blacking out, I run, run as fast as my skinny legs would go to the nearest restroom and lock myself in the stall trying not to cause a scene.

OMG!OMG!OMFG!

why is this happening to me?!

Why at this very second? Why?!

Why?!

Why did he do it, why did he try to take his life?

I can literally feel him slipping through my finger tips "I CAN"T HANDLE THIS MUCH HEART ACE! GOD IF YOUR OUT THERE PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU I LOVE HIM!!!"

I burst out screaming. And before I knew it I saw a bright light and then my knees gave out and everything around me turned black, after what I believe had been a couple seconds my eyes opened and I was laying on the ground with a sharp pain in my chest and my breathing had become normal, this usually what happens when you black out during an anxiety attack, when your body can't produce enough oxygen due to you breathing so much you pass out and your body chills out and you wake up roughly around a couple seconds and your just fine, but with a pain in your chest cause of your heart beating so fast.

But what usually never happened before when I pass out from an anxiety attack is seeing a bright light I mean it could've been my imagination or a reaction to the anxiety attack, but I'd just like to believe It was some kind of sign that maybe...

Just maybe a miracle is going to happen.